Loved Until Tomorrow
by Hopelessly Pessimistic
Summary: Hermione makes a mistake that she wishes she could take back and has to live with the consequences. But how will everyone react when she finally gains enough courage to tell them? Will she have the chance before they find out on there own? HGRL
1. Prolouge

_**Loved Until Tomorrow**_

_**Prologue**_

They had bumped into each other at the party. They hadn't seen each other since she was fifteen and she had changed a lot since then. She was no longer the innocent bushy haired know-it-all, but had transformed into a beautiful woman who had seen too much by the age of twelve to have ever really been considered a teenager. Instead she had been forced from childhood into adulthood without the proper transition that everyone deserved.

It was her outfit that caught his eye. She was wearing low cut blue dress robes that fitted her perfectly. She had looked nothing like he had remembered her and he realized that that wasn't her anymore. Far too much had happened for her to be the same.

For her it had been his eyes. She had been scanning the crowd trying to drown out her partner when she spotted him. He was laughing with George and Charlie and the laughter had met his eyes. She hadn't seen anyone smile like that in a long time. Harry often wore a goofy grin, especially when he was around Ginny, but his eyes still held the hurt and pain that he had seen over the years. Ron wore the same expression but with a less haunted look in his eyes, as he had never had the weight on the world on his shoulders like Harry had. His eyes were like a window back into a better time. And that had been what she had needed.

She had been dancing with Percy, who was talking a mile at a minute, and it was obvious from across the room that the smile that she gave him was fake. Knowing what it was like to be caught in Percy's ramblings he quickly made his way over to save her. They had spent the rest of the night talking. Learning about the things that had happened over the last few years. She had heard several things about his life through Mrs. Weasley, but it was usually just random bits of information that didn't tell her much about what he had been going through. She told him that she was still interning at Hogwarts but Dumbledore has made it clear that when there was an opening that she would most likely be the one filling it. He asked her about her love life, saying he had heard about a serious boyfriend and she had reluctantly told him that they weren't together anymore. That there were just too many differences. That she had loved him but sometimes love just wasn't enough.

The party slowly began to die down and they said there goodbyes. They were both staying at the Leaky Caldron, as they were too tired to apparate home and they didn't want to oppose on the Weasley's, even if they were his family. The rest of the Weasley's were staying at the Burrow along with Fred's girlfriend and of course Harry. Neither of them thought that there was any reason to add to the chaos. He walked her up to her room and she invited him in. She knew that she shouldn't, that he should be downstairs getting a room of his own. They both knew it, but that didn't stop him from accepting.

He made the first move, thinking that she's pull away. They were both surprised when she didn't. They both knew it was wrong. That it was a mistake. But at that moment it didn't seem to matter that he was married. Or that she had once dated his younger brother. All that mattered was that he wanted her and she wanted him. They would deal with the consequences in the morning. This was a mistake they were willing to make.

- - - - - - - - - - -

She didn't know how to react when she saw the outcome. A part of her had known what it would say but she hadn't accepted it. She wanted to pretend that it was a mistake, that it was wrong. She had repeated it ten times and they all said the same thing. It wasn't a lie and she couldn't change that.

She wanted to go back to that night. She wanted to change what happened. To tell herself that only bad things could happen from it. But in her heart she knew that she would have done it anyway. That even she couldn't have talked herself out of it. That night was what she had needed. To have someone want her back. To feel loved, if only for a short time.

She had spent so much time watching Harry and Ginny being the image of the perfect couple. The hero of the story finally getting his dream girl. She was happy for them but at the same time it was killing her. She had dated. She had even loved but she had never had what they did. She always seemed to choose the wrong guy. The guy that everyone but her knew wasn't right or the guy that everyone else thought was perfect but all she could find was flaws. The guy that broke her heart and never looked back. The guy she lived in harmony with but never really loved.

He had made her feel wanted. He had told her that she was beautiful. He had been interested in her as more then just a brain. He was interested in what she had to say and didn't get intimidated when she said something smart. He was perfect for her in every way but one.

He was married.

And she couldn't change that.

- - - - - - - - - - -

It had taken her weeks to accept the fact that it had really happened. She was able to hide it from most of the staff but she wasn't able to keep it from everyone. She had been in the middle of helping Professor Snape when she suddenly ran out of the room looking for the nearest bathroom. He had followed her there and had seen everything.

She hadn't been able to say anything. She never explained or gave her any details but he somehow seemed to understand. He offered her as much of a smile as he could and Hermione broke down. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. She was supposed to be getting a job. Working at Hogwarts. She was supposed to meet a nice man, one that was right for her. God, at that point she would have taken him.

Between sobs she told him as much as she could without revealing too much of the situation. She couldn't do that to him. She couldn't do that to his wife. She couldn't do that to herself. He did his best to comfort her, telling her that everything would work out fine. Somehow she couldn't bring herself to believe him.

She had sworn him to secrecy but only in turn for her promising that she would tell someone else. The father, her parents, Harry, Ron, someone, anyone, that she trusted.

Hermione planned to keep her part of the promise but she couldn't help but think that he hadn't kept his. When she finally asked Dumbledore for a couple of weeks off he kept smiling knowingly at her and offering for her to take a few more weeks off then she suggested, paid of course. But Dumbledore always did seem to know more then anyone else, maybe this was just one of those times.

- - - - - - - - - -

She had taken the train to London, instead of apparating, as she needed to work out what exactly she was going to tell her parents. It was hard to decide if she should tell them the truth. I mean this wasn't exactly the easiest thing for parents to hear. She decided to break it to them gently, and that would need planning.

When she appeared on her parents' doorstep they knew that something was wrong. It wasn't like her to just show up without calling to make sure that they would be there. She cursed herself for not thinking of that and nervously told them what had happened. She didn't mention who he was or that he was married. She figured she would have to tell them eventually, but that this wasn't the time.

When she was finished telling them they just stared at her. She could see the millions of unasked questions written all over there faces. There eyes held a look of disappointment that forced her to have to look away. They didn't have to tell her what they were thinking, she could see it.

Once the silence was broken it seemed as if the yelling and shouting would never stop. She had always considered her parents to be reasonable people but during that time they seemed anything but. They couldn't understand how it had happened. How she had _allowed_ it to happen. They wanted to know who he was and why he wasn't there too. Why she hadn't told him about the situation. And a lot more questions that she didn't have the answers to. The conversation ended in yelling goodbye and her telling them that as of now they would be lucky if they ever got to see there grandchild.

Severus had told her to go to someone that she trusted and she had. But seeing how they reacted she hated to think how everyone else would. Who could she go to now?

And that's how she found herself here, at his doorstep. She knew she couldn't go to Harry and especially not to Ron. They wouldn't have any better idea of what to do then her. He, he might have an idea. He might understand why she couldn't bring herself to tell anyone. He might be able to offer her more then an unsure smile and false promises.

Or at least she hoped.


	2. Chapter 1: Lupus in Fabula

**_Chapter One: Lupus in Fabula _**

She knocked softly, not wanting to disturb his if he was already sleeping. But she knew that if he didn't answer the door she probably wouldn't be able to get the courage to come back for a few more days, if she could even do it then. It had taken her nearly twenty minutes just to knock on the door.

She could hear footsteps from inside the house. He was obviously awake as she had expected him to be. The door opened to reveal a tired looking man staring at her in surprise. She was obviously not the person he had expected to see.

"Hello Remus" She said forcing herself to sound cheerful.

"Hermione! Well this is a surprise." He said with a smile, "But a welcomed one, come inside."

She followed him inside looking around at the foyer. It had been a long time since she had come to his home but it seemed as if nothing had changed. She never knew what it was but there was always something that made her feel like she came home when she entered Remus' small home. Maybe it was the books. Maybe it was the way it looked lived in instead of the perfect order of her own home. Maybe it was the way it was calm instead of chaotic like the Burrow. Maybe it was because when she came through the door she was always greeted with Remus' smile instead of the loneliness that hit her every time she walked into her quarters at Hogwarts.

"Can I take your coat?" he asked breaking her out of her thoughts.

"I'm sorry about not telling you I was coming." She said quietly as she handed it to him, "To be honest I didn't really didn't know where else to go."

"Why don't we go into the living room" He said, "I can make some tea and we can talk."

"Okay." She nodded, letting him guide her into the room and lead her over to the sofa. He quickly left and hurried into the kitchen to make the tea. He came back a few minutes later carrying a cup of tea for each of them.

"Still two sugars I hope?" he asked setting a cup down in front of her.

"Yes" she said with a sad smile, taking a sip.

"So why don't you tell me what's going on." He said placing hand over hers, "I'm sure that we can work it out."

"I don't think we can fix this over a cup of tea." She said trying to fight back the tears.

"Has something happened?" he asked quickly, "Is it Harry, Ron, your family? Were you attacked?"

"No, no. Nothing like that." She said putting her cup down. "It's just…well I guess there's no easy way to put this, so I'll just say it. I'm pregnant. God, I've explained this several times now and I've never actually said that. I'm going to have a baby. Hermione know-it-all Granger was stupid enough to get herself knocked up. I'm not even married. Of course the father's married. Not to me. But he's married."

She was saying it so fast and so hysterically that Remus had trouble understanding it but he was able to make out the important parts. Like the fact that she had just told him that she was pregnant.

"What did I do Remus?" she said unable to hold back the tears any longer, "What did I do?"

Snapping out of his astonishment Remus realized how distressed Hermione was over the news. He quickly pulled her into an embrace, hoping that it would help. He began whispering soothing words into her ears. Telling her that things wouldn't look so bad in the morning. And that he was there for her and that everything was going to be okay. Everything _will_ be okay. But no matter how much she wanted too, she couldn't bring herself to believe him.

-----------------------

They stayed like that for over thirty minutes. Him holding her and her hanging onto him for dear life as she cried, as if she was afraid that if she let go he would leave her too. After a while he was finally able to calm her down, and she slowly stopped crying.

"I'm sorry" she said running a hand over his shirt, "I got your shirt all dirty."

"That's not important. What is important it you. Are you okay?"

"No." she said shaking her head, "No, I'm not. Remus I made a mess out of everything. I just wanted to feel loved. For that one night, I just wanted to feel loved and wanted. And now this baby is going to have to live with my mistakes."

"Hermione, you and this baby are going to be fine." Remus told her. "I promise you that. What may seem like a mistake now, will seem like a miracle when this baby gets here." He told her putting his hand on her stomach.

"Thank you." She said, "I don't know if what your saying is true but thank you. You're the first person that…You're the first person who hasn't made this out to be something terrible. I saw my parents today and they…"

"You don't have to explain Hermione."

"Thank you" she repeated.

"You should stay here tonight." He said rising from the couch, "I'll go clean up my room and you can sleep in there."

"Oh no Remus, I've already imposed on you enough as it. I can't let you do that."

"Yes you can and you will" he said, "You're in no state to go back to Hogwarts tonight. Now let me go find you something to sleep in and check my room to make sure that it's not too filthy."

------------------------------------

As Remus lay on the couch he could hear Hermione's cries from upstairs. He wanted to race up there and hold her and comfort her to the best of his abilities. But he also knew that she needed to be alone right now. To cry by herself and accept the fact on her own that this could work, that thing's would be okay. He had seen the doubt in her eyes and while he knew that she would make it through this, it would be hard.

Slowly he heard her cries stop as she faded into sleep. And knowing that she had a least stopped crying and was okay until morning, allowed him to follow her into dreamland.

_A/N: So here's the next part. Hope you guys liked it. This is my first posted so bare with me on that part. I'd like to thank my one reviewer, __**sln1987**__ You made me really happy, I even did a little dance. Everyone else please review too. I promise that I'll do my little happy dance for everyone. _

_Also for the title Lupus in fabula means "The wolf in the tale" in Latin._


	3. Chapter 2: Quad nesciunt Eos non Interfi

**_Chapter Two: Quad nesciunt Eos non Interficiet_**

He hadn't expected to hear anyone knocking on the door this early. And he definitely didn't expect to see who he did. Any other time he would have been glad to see him, but honestly right now, he wasn't sure how to react. He was sure that Hermione wouldn't want him here right now and he had to agree with her. She was upset enough now with just a few people knowing, he didn't want him to say the wrong thing and send her into hysterics again.

"It's almost eight and you're not even dressed." He said entering the foyer. "Did hell freeze over and nobody tell me?"

"Sirius! What are you doing here?" he said trying to change the subject, "I didn't know you were coming over."

"Well it wasn't really planned." He said with a laugh, "I just got a little tired of seeing my godson and his girlfriend making googley eyes at each other."

"Why was she there this early?" he asked trying to subtly lead Sirius back outside.

"She spent the night. Again." He said with a small smile.

"I think I could have lived without that last piece of information." Remus said rubbing his tired eyes. He hadn't slept well last night, for obvious reasons.

"Yeah well someone besides me should have that image in their head." Sirius said, "And I know you think of Harry the same way as I do, so you seemed like the best choice."

"So?" Sirius asked with a cocky grin, "Are you going to explain to me why you're trying to not so subtly usher me out of the house_ and _why you're still in your pajamas? Because the last time I remember you not being dressed at this time was when you had the flu. You don't look like you have the flu."

"Well not exactly…" he said glancing upstairs, not quite sure what to tell him. He was sure that Hermione was planning on keeping this a secret until she couldn't stop people from finding out. And even then she would want to tell them herself. But he also knew Sirius. And he wouldn't stop bringing up until he got answers. Sirius followed his gaze to the staircase leading upstairs…to the bedrooms.

"You wouldn't by any chance have a woman up there, would you?" Sirius asked his smile growing even larger.

"Well…it's not what you think…it's just…"Remus really didn't know what to say. He had never been able to lie to Sirius. He had always been able to see through his lies, no matter how well thought out they were or how much he had practiced them. But then he couldn't exactly tell him the truth; that it was Hermione up there.

Luckily he didn't have to.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Remus!" she called hurrying down the stairs. "Remus it was nice that you offered to do my laundry but I need to-" She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Sirius setting at the kitchen table. His look went from completely smug, to utterly surprised.

He stared back and forth between Remus who was looking unsure and Hermione who was standing in the doorway, obviously embarrassed, trying to pull her shirt down. Wait, not her shirt, Remus' shirt. She was wearing one of Remus' button-down shirts. Things were starting to click in his mind and he suddenly realized why Remus had been trying to no so gently escort him out.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Hermione quickly snapped out of her surprise and asked Remus to hand her her clothes.

She was tired of Sirius staring at her legs. "Thanks…I'll just…go change." She said glancing anxiously at Sirius.

"Remus, please don't tell him anything." She told him quietly. She really didn't want to have to explain this to him. She liked Sirius she really did. But she wasn't ready for everyone to know about this quite yet. And well, Sirius wasn't known for his ability to keep secrets from Harry. In fact, you had to watch everything you said to Sirius because in the end it would always get back to Harry. And she definitely wasn't ready for Harry to know about this yet.

"Don't tell me what?" Sirius asked, obviously have heard there conversation. "Looks like I won't be getting dressed." Hermione mumbled slowly setting down on the chair next to Sirius.

"Look I know what this looks like-" Hermione began.

"Is this the part where you go on to explain that you two are in love and that you're sorry that you hid it from the rest of us?" He said with a smirk, taking a big drink of his tea.

"No." she said calmly. "This is the part where I tell you that I'm pregnant." She said causing him to choke on his tea.

"You took a lot longer to tell me." Remus said setting down a cup of tea in front of her, and then taking the seat next to her.

Hermione just blushed, not wanting to tell him that Sirius had been a little too smug for her liking and she wanted to bring him back down to earth. She usually didn't do things like that and had a feeling that it was because of the mood swings that she had been reading about. And she really didn't want to have to admit to that.

"Wait! So you're saying that…I mean did I hear you correctly…" Sirius said looking between the two, "Am I going to be a godfather again?"

"If that's your odd way of asking if Remus is the father, then the answer is no." Hermione said with a small smile. It took a lot for anyone to get Sirius flustered and it was rather entertaining watching him when he wasn't sure how to handle a situation.

"Then who's the-" "The father isn't in the picture." She said quickly interrupting him, "And that's all that matters."

"I take it your boyfriend didn't react well to the news." He said quietly, looking at Remus in hopes to get some answers.

"No he didn't react badly…he didn't really react at all." She said.

"What do you mean he didn't react?" Remus asked.

"I didn't tell him." she said, "And I don't plan to."

"What! Hermione he has the right to know. It's his baby just as much as it is yours. Besides a baby deserves a mother _and_ a father." Sirius exclaimed.

"I know that." She told him exasperated, "But there are a few obstacles in the way Sirius."

"What kind of obstacles?" he asked.

"He's…He's involved with someone else." She said choosing her words carefully.

"So he slept with you while he was dating someone else?" he asked his eyes widening.

"No, he slept with me while he was _married_ to someone else." She stated not meeting their eyes.

Remus suddenly remembered what she had said the night before. _I'm not even married. Of course the father's married. Not to me. But he's married. _She had been so upset and frantic that he hadn't comprehended what she had said until now. No wonder she was so upset.

"I can't…I _won't_ do that to his wife. She doesn't deserve that. I can't…I can't cause her that kind of pain. I'll just…I'll just figure something out." She said more to herself then them.

"Now if you'll excuse me" she said standing up from the table, "I have to go throw up."

**

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A/N: The chapter title _"Quad nesciunt eos non interficiet"_ translates to "_What they don't know won't kill them." _in Latin. **

A/N: The chapter title translates to "in Latin. 

**Thank you for your reviews I did a little happy dance for each of you like I promised but then my family started staring at me…so I stopped. I have a question for all of you out there. I've gotten alerts on my stats page but I have no idea what that means, but alert doesn't seem like it would be a good thing. So if anyone knows, or if your one of the people, please explain because I'm completely lost. Now on with the reviews and questions. **

**Deatheaterdolls:** Thank you for you review and what you had to say. I know who the guy is and if you go back to the prologue and read it carefully you should be able to figure it out. But if you don't want do that, I promise that I will tell you who it is eventually in the story. But, for now he will remain nameless until I decide when to let everyone else know who the father is. And that's probably going to be a while.

**MikoNoAisuru** Thank you for the review. I'm glad you like the story even if it does annoy you. I'm not sure what you meant about Ron. Did you think he was going to be Remus or did you think about He-Who–Shall-Not-Be-Named-Until-Later-On-In-The-Story?

**katemburke33, ****pinkwands** **fadedglory**** and ****sln1987**Thanks for the review and the compliments. I love Remus and Hermione fics to and I have some ideas for some other ones that I'll hopefully post sometime too.

**Please review. It makes me happy and I'll while I may not do my little happy dance, because my family already thinks I'm strange enough, I'll be dancing on the inside. **


	4. Chapter 3: Potes currere sed te occulere

**_Chapter Three: Potes currere sed te occulere non potes _**

Hermione heard someone coming up behind her and then felt someone lifting her hair so that it wouldn't get in the way. In the short time that she had been upstairs she had thrown up the few things that she had actually managed to eat the night before. When he was sure that she was done he helped her to the other side of the room and got her a glass of water to help her get rid of the bad taste in her mouth. "Thank you." She said quietly. "Are you alright, Hermione?" he asked, "Do you need anything else?" "No, no this is fine Remus." She said.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

_Are you sure. _Those three little words almost caused her to break down. Here Remus was doing whatever he could for her. He dropped everything just to help her last night. He had opened up his home to her, no questions asked. He hadn't judged her when she told him what had happened, why she was there. And all she could think was that she didn't deserve this. She had slept with somebody's husband. She had _known _she was sleeping with somebody's husband and had done it anyway. She didn't deserve someone like Remus, helping her the way that he was.

"Hermione? Hermione are you alright?" he asked breaking her out of her thoughts.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine." She said shaking her head hoping to clear her thoughts. "But I should be getting back to Hogwarts." she said picking up her clothes from the counter. With a quick spell and a wave of her wand she was fully dressed in her muggle jeans and sweater. And before Remus could stop her she was making her way downstairs.

Sirius was where they left him, at the kitchen table with a confused look on his face, when she reached the bottom of the stairs. Taking a deep breath she walked into the kitchen, preparing herself for what she was about to ask.

She had practically begged Sirius not to tell Harry or anyone else. Telling him that she couldn't handle that right now. That she had to get herself together before she can even deal with the thought of telling Harry and Ron. It took a lot of convincing and a few tears but in the end he grudgingly agreed.

Remus had tried to stop her when she tried to leave, saying that she didn't have to go anywhere. That they could figure this out here. But she just kissed him on the cheek, blushing at the thought of kissing her former professor even if it is just on the cheek, and told him thank you for everything that he had done last night. Still surprised from the unexpected kiss, he was unable to stop her as she apparated back to Hogwarts.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

"Do you want me to grade the third year essays too?" Hermione asked. She was in the staff room helping Severus grade the potion essays he had set. Surprisingly it was rather comfortable. While they weren't talking very often, and when they did it was about the papers, she didn't feel guilty about hiding something like she did with the professors. While he didn't know everything, he knew why she had left and was polite enough not to ask questions about it.

"No just the first and second years for now." He told her glancing up from his papers, "I want to do the rest myself."

"Alright." She said setting aside the essay she had just finished grading. The essay was well researched and neatly done but the boy who wrote it really needed to work on his spelling. His markings would be much higher each week if he just used a spello-quill.

"Oh great." She heard Severus sarcastically said. She looked up to see him watching someone behind her, obvious dislike evident in his eyes. "What? Don't tell me someone told Professor Trelawney the new password." She said. "No, not quite that bad." He said before turning back to his work.

Hermione held back a laugh at Severus' dislike of so many people, before turning around to see for herself who it was. She hadn't expected it to be him.

"Ah, there you are Hermione." Dumbledore said coming over, "We've been looking all over for you."

"I've been in here for the last couple of hours." She said quietly, making sure not to look at Remus.

"Well as you can see you have a guest." He said. "I'll leave the two of you alone." He said before heading off to talk with Minerva.

"Remus what are you doing here?" she asked slightly uneasy. She could feel all of the other professors' curious eyes on the two of them.

"I think you know why I'm here." He told her.

"Remus we discussed this this morning." She told him.

"No I tried to discuss it, you ran away."

"We should go talk about this somewhere else." She said standing up and taking his hand as she began to lead him out of the room. She really didn't want to have this discussion in the staffroom where all the other teachers could hear. This time Remus felt all the professors' eyes on them too.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Hermione lead him down the hall and into a classroom that was always empty, except for the occasional students who came into the empty classrooms to get some alone time with a member of the opposite sex.

"Remus, why did you come here?" she asked obviously upset.

"I wanted to talk to you" he told her. "When you left this morning nothing was resolved. No plans had been made-"

"This is _my_ problem Remus, not yours." She said, her voice rising. "I'm not your student anymore and I don't need you to be watching over me every minute of the day."

"I just thought--"

"No!" she said, "You didn't think at all. If you had thought then you would have realized that I don't want the people in that room to know about this yet. I can't deal with the stares and the whispers…All of the questions…"

"Hermione…"

"I can't deal with this Remus. Not right now. So please, can you please just leave."

He didn't say anything. He wasn't angry. He didn't even seem irritated at her sudden change in attitude. He just seemed sad as he walked away.

Irritation she could have dealt with. Anger she would have understood. But sadness was just too much for her to deal with. She knew that she had been unfair to him. She didn't need it spelled out for her. She just couldn't deal with this right now. She had already decided this morning that she shouldn't have dragged Remus into this. Now she was forcing him to keep her secret too. None of this was fair to him.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Hermione quickly hurried back to the staff room, fighting back her tears. Once she was inside she realized that it hadn't just been her imagination when she had left. Almost every eye was on her. She tried to ignore it as she made her way back to the table that she had been setting at with Severus. He was sitting there, his eyebrows raised questioningly at her.

"Is Remus coming back?" she heard Dumbledore ask from behind her.

"Not today." She said quietly as she gathered her papers.

"Oh, that's a shame I was hoping to speak with him about something." He said, "Is everything alright?"

"Yes, was it a lover's quarrel?" Severus asked, a cruel smirk on his face.

"Everything's fine." She said, her eyes flashing dangerously towards Snape.

Over the time that Hermione had begun working at Hogwarts, Hermione and Severus had formed a civil relationship, they weren't friends but they much more pleasant towards each other then anyone ever thought they could be. But there was always the odd occasion when a touchy subject would come up between the two and Severus would fall back into his old ways.

"I'm just suddenly not feeling real well and wasn't really up to guests. I think I'm going to head back to my rooms." She said.

"I do hope you feel better." Dumbledore said as he watched her head towards the door.

"Thank you, headmaster." She said. "I hope I do too." She said quieter.

- - - - - - - - - - -

She had barely made it into her quarters before the tears began to fall. She had made a mess out of things. She had finally found someone to help her. Someone that would be there for her throughout this, and what did she do? She yelled at him for trying to help her? She had thought that it was better for him if he didn't have to lie to everyone. She had thought it would have been better for him if he didn't have to deal with her problems?

But was it better for her? Would she really be able to deal with all of this herself?

Hermione crawled into her bed, still wearing her workrobes, and for the fourth night that week she cried herself to sleep.

**

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****A/N: The chapter title is Latin for "_You can run, but you can't hide". _Thanks to my reviewers, Anime Freak Inc. and pinkwands. I'm glad you like the story. **

**Please Review. It makes me happy. **


	5. Chapter Four

**_Chapter Four: Ex Animo_**

Hermione walked into the Great Hall wearing a flowing white gown. She looked around to see everyone laughing and talking. Everyone dressed in beautiful white gowns and white suits.

Everyone seemed so happy. It had been so long since she had seen them like this. It had been so long since any of them had been truly happy. Voldemort had taken so much away from them and no matter how much they all tried, there always seemed to be something different about each of them. They seemed more guarded, more suspicious of those around them. They had learned the hard way that not everyone was trustworthy.

But then there was Harry, smiling happy as he danced with Ginny, the love evident in his eyes. And there was Ron laughing with Fred and George who had just slipped something into the punch bowl. Dumbledore, with a twinkle in his eyes, was on the dance floor dancing with Professor McGonagall, who appeared flustered because Albus kept stepping on her shoes. And there was Remus and Sirius were laughing at the refreshment table with Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, Sirius seeming more like the one they had seen in the photographs, then the one that they were used to seeing everyday. And for that one moment, everything was perfect. Everyone was happy and loved and that was all that mattered.

But then as quick as the moment came, it was gone and suddenly everything was different. The music stopped playing and the dancers stopped dancing and Harry stopped laughing. And everyone was staring at her.

"White!" Fleur said outraged, coming up to her, "You don't deserve to wear white. White is for the pure and the innocent. You slept with my husband. You are an adulterer and you are anything but innocent."

"Fleur, wait!" she called out as the woman turned to leave. "It's not like you think."

"How can you say that, when the proof is staring me right in the face?" Fleur spat at her.

Hermione looked down to see that her once flat stomach had grown and was now large enough to hold a baby. Her gown had also changed, from a white strapless gown to black.

"Black is more fitting for those who do evil." Fleur told her with a vicious smile.

"No. I never meant for this to happen." Hermione cried.

"But it did" Mrs. Weasley said coming up next to Fleur, pure hatred in her eyes. "You seduced my son and looked what happened. Now we all have to live with the consequences of your mistake."

"Mrs. Weasley, please…"

"Please what, Hermione?" Harry said coming up. "What you did, we can't forgive."

_- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -_

Hermione sat up straight in bed, breathing heavily. Her eyes quickly scanned the room expecting to see several angry people blaming her for everything that she had done. Finally realizing that no one was going to burst out and start yelling at her, she quickly searched the room to find out what she had to thank for waking her up.

She quickly found that it was an owl pecking at the window. She pulled off the tangled covers and went over to open the window and let the small black owl in. She was extremely grateful for whoever had sent the owl and the interruption that the owl caused. That dream had been horrible and even now she couldn't shake off the feeling that what happened in the dream would really happen when people found out.

She removed the scroll attached to the owl's foot and handed it one of the owl treats that she kept on her desk. She slowly opened the letter as she watched the familiar but unknown owl fly away, until it was only a small dot in the sky and she turned back to the letter.

_Dear Hermione,_

_I know that you are upset with me right now. I know your upset with the whole situation right now, but I want you to know that I'm here for you. You were right about earlier. When I came to Hogwarts I was so focused on just talking to you that I didn't think about the other professors, or what they might say and I should have. You told me many times that you weren't ready for anyone else to find out yet, and I ignored that fact and barged in on you asking you questions, not thinking about the repercussions that you alone would have to deal with. And I am very sorry about that._

_I want you to know that I am here for you. That I'm willing to be here for you all the way. _

_You can't do this alone, Hermione. As much as you think that you can you can't. A baby is a lot of work, and this pregnancy is going to be hard. Not just because of the situation with the father, but because pregnancy's aren't that easy. I don't know this personally, but I remember James always talking about Lily and what she was going through when she was pregnant with Harry. _

_He would talk about the odd things that she would occasionally crave and how he would have to run out in the middle of the night to pick up peaches and muggle salt and vinegar potato chips. He would tell us how she would always complain about not being able to see her feet and how he had to buy her several pairs of shoes that she could just slip on, because she couldn't see her feet let alone reach them to tie the laces. _

_I'm willing to be there for you Hermione. I'm willing to go find Salt and Vinegar potato chips, whatever they are, at all hours of the night. I just wanted you to know that. That if you want me, then I'm here for you._

_Sincerely,_

_Remus Lupin_

Hermione had started crying after reading the first few lines. She had been so sure that she had lost him, and here he was asking for her forgiveness when she should have been the one offering her own.

She knew she couldn't do this alone. She had known that all along, but had never been able to admit it to herself. That's why she had told Snape when he found her in the bathroom instead of making up some excuse. That's why she had gone to her parents, in hopes that they would know what she was supposed to do. That's why she had gone to him. She wanted someone there with her. Bill obviously wasn't an option. She didn't even want to think about how he would react when he found out. _If _he ever finds out.

But then there's Remus. Who knew almost everything, and hadn't looked at her differently. In his eyes she was still the same Hermione. And the fact that he was willing to be there for her meant the world to her.

Not caring that it was after eleven but knowing that she had to go to Remus, she quickly grabbed her traveling cloak and hurried out of her rooms and out of Hogwarts.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Hermione apparated onto his doorstep and quickly knocked on the door. When there was no initial response, she knocked again, hoping that he was home.

After the third time she knocked and there was no response, she began to get nervous and started to knock incessantly. She was still knocking when Remus opened the door, still dressed in his night clothes looking only half awake, and she knocked on his bare chest instead.

"Oh" she said her cheeks flushing at the contact but it took her a moment more then needed to remove her hand.

"Oh, I'm sorry." She said taking in the fact that he was in his pajamas, "I didn't realize it was so late. I just got your owl…and I wasn't thinking about the time…"

"It's quite alright, Hermione." He said with a reassuring smile.

"No, it's not." She said, "I was so horrible to you. I just kept thinking that I shouldn't have dragged you into this. And about how unfair this is to you. I mean I just spring all of this on you, and then asked you to keep it from everyone. And then you were there, trying to help and being nice after I had just decided to leave you out of this mess…and I don't know what happened but the next thing I knew I was yelling and you were still so nice…And if I wasn't a horrible person for sleeping with someone's husband, then I'm definitely a horrible person for telling you to leave me the hell alone."

"You never said that."

"No, but I might as well have." She said.

"Hermione you need to calm down." He said guiding her into the house, "All this excitement can't be good for you or the baby."

"Did you really mean what you said in your letter?" she asked stopping so that she was standing right in front of him, so that she could look him in the eye.

"Of course." He said, "I wouldn't have said it if I didn't mean it."

"Good because Remus I've messed everything up, and if you're willing I'd really like to take you up on that offer of help."

* * *

**A/N: The title means "_From the Heart". _I hope you liked the chapter. I had a little bit of writers block withthis chapter otherwise I would have had it to you sooner. I hope you like it! Thanks to all who reviewed!**

**Please _Please _Review. It makes me smile. **


	6. Chapter five

_**Chapter Five: Nullus est instar domus** _

"You can't just throw them in there Sirius." Hermione exclaimed seeing him throwing her books into her box. "Some of those a very valuable and old and you can't just throw them in there like there nothing."

"I wasn't just throwing them in there Hermione. I just didn't think they needed that much care." He said shooting Remus a look begging him for help.

Remus just chuckled happy to see that the old Hermione seemed to be reappearing. He had seen the look that Hermione had given Sirius and had recognized it from the ones that he had seen her give Harry and Ron. There was no point arguing with her when she gave you that look. Very few people could win an argument with Hermione and he knew Sirius was not one of them.

Hermione quickly took out the books that Sirius had already 'packed.' She could believe that Sirius had been so careless to just throw her books into a box. But she did admit that it felt it nice to be back to her normal self, reprimanding Sirius like she used to reprimand Harry and Ron. Sirius may not have meant to but he helped bring back a piece of her that had felt like it was missing.

After packing and repacking to box that Sirius had attempted to pack along with another one that he hadn't started, Hermione was finally satisfied with how they looked. "You finished with those boxes, Hermione?" Sirius asked, hoping that she had calmed down.

"Yeah, I think so." She said standing up and wiping of her jeans. She had never realized just how dirty her floors were until she had to set on them for long periods of time. She really had to clean more.

"Then I'll take this." He said quickly picking it up before she had the chance to attempt to do it herself. He added it to the pile of boxes that Remus was already carrying to the other side of the room. Once they were done with all of the packing, they were going to take all her stuff and Floo them to Remus' through the headmaster's fireplace.

"I _can_ help Sirius." She told him, her hands on her hips.

"In your condition you shouldn't be lifting anything." He told her.

"My condition!" she exclaimed, "Sirius I'm pregnant, not dying."

"However, he is correct." Dumbledore's voice came from behind her. "You should probably stick to strictly packing the boxes and allow others to do all the heavy lifting."

"Hello headmaster. Severus." She said acknowledging the two men in her doorway.

"We thought that we'd stop by and see if you needed any help with the move." He said earning a snort from Severus. Apparently Dumbledore had been the one who thought they should stop by, not Severus.

"I think we have it about covered." Remus said, "Only the bedroom and the rest of the books are left to pack."

"Well it would seem that you know your way around Miss Granger's bedroom quite well Lupin. Perhaps you should start in there." Severus said causing Hermione to flinch. Snape had misinterpreted what he had overheard the last time Remus was at Hogwarts and had been throwing little comments about her and Remus' relationship at her all week.

"What the hell is he talking about?" Sirius asked angrily.

"I'm not sure." Hermione lied rubbing her temples. "But he's right. We should start working on the bedroom. Why don't you and Remus go and start bringing out the furniture. The dresser, the desk, and the two cherry wood bookshelves go."

"Headmaster, if you and Severus have the time I'd appreciate your help in packing the rest of the books. I've been standing all day and I'm starting to feel a little dizzy."

"Of course my dear." He said, "Just rest for a while. Is there anything you need?"

"A cup of tea would be nice." She said setting down in her favorite chair.

"Of course, I'll be right back." He said. "Severus you should start with those books. Hermione watched smugly as Severus sat on the floor and began packing up her books.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"You're not doing it right." Remus heard Hermione say as he levitated her dresser into the main room.

"Really Hermione, there are only so many ways that you can pack books." Severus told her. He was already tired of dealing with this and he had been there less then twenty minutes.

"That's not what I meant." she said kneeling down beside him. "Your packing them fine in that sense, much better then Sirius, but you're mixing the muggle books in with the magical ones. I have a system and I don't need you messing it up."

"Well can't you just correct it when you arrive at your parents?" He asked her.

"Your parents?" Sirius questioned, almost dropping the bookshelf he was levitating. "What's he talking about Hermione?"

"She's moving in with her parents, Black." Severus sneered, "I would have thought even you were smart enough to comprehend that."

"Actually" Hermione said quietly, "That's just what I told Poppy. At the moment, my parents aren't speaking to me; I highly doubt they would allow me to move in with them. I just didn't want to deal with all of the questions that would come up if I told them I was moving into Remus'."

"Even if it is strictly platonic." She said at Severus' raised eyebrow. "There's going to be enough questions when they realize I'm pregnant. I'd like a little peace until then."

"Now, like I was saying Severus." She said trying to change the subject to something she felt more comfortable talking about, "The muggle books go in one box and the magical in another. It's really not that hard of a concept."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"I have decided that I have way too much stuff." Hermione said looking at the many boxes pilled up around her. Most of her stuff was upstairs in her room but there were still quite a few boxes downstairs. Remus had insisted that she mix some of her own stuff with his. He told her that they were both living there now and it was only fair that it looked like they both lived there. She was still a bit hesitant, not wanting to mess up how wonderful his house always looked by adding her own stuff, but it didn't seem like she had much a choice in the matter. If she didn't put her stuff down there, then Remus and Sirius would.

"I could have told you that when Sirius and I had to bring all that stuff up the stairs." Remus said collapsing on the couch next to her.

"Excuse me, but the two of you levitated everything up there but the breakables." She exclaimed, "It's not as if I made you carry it _all_ upstairs."

"I suppose not." He said with a smile, "But it was still tiring." "Oh, of course." She said with a laugh.

Hermione still didn't think that she deserved to have someone like Remus helping her. In her mind she deserved everything that came to her. She had made her choices and thought that it was only fair that she had to deal with the consequences. But then she thought about the baby. It wasn't this baby's fault that she had made this large of a mistake. It wasn't this baby's fault that she had slept with a married man. It wasn't this baby's fault that they hadn't taken enough care to mutter one little contraception spell. No, that was her responsibility and she wouldn't have this baby suffering for her choices. So she had accepted Remus' kind offer to move in so that he could help her out.

"I'm glad you invited me to stay here Remus." She said sleepily leaning into his shoulder.

"I'm glad I did too." He said. "It's been rather quiet around here lately, and it'll be nice to have someone else around. Two someone's eventually." He said glancing down towards her stomach.

"I thought that maybe, if it's a boy" she said moving his hand to her stomach, obviously only half awake, "That maybe I'd name it Remus for everything that you've done for us." "But then I thought that that might become confusing and I decided that maybe I'd just make it his middle name." she said making Remus chuckle.

"And if it's a girl?" he asked with a smile.

"Well it would be confusing if I named a girl Remus too." She said snuggling further into his shoulder. Remus watched her drift off to sleep, her hand still over his own on her stomach.

**

* * *

****A/N: The chapter title means "_There is no place like home". _Thank you for all the reviews. Big thanks to Katemburke, connieewing ,and Monnbeam. I got my first bad review last chapter and getting your reviews made me really happy. Thanks to everyone who's reading the story. I know right now things are kind of slow but I promise things will pick up soon. **

**Please Review! It makes me smile. **


	7. Chapter Six: Serva Me, Servabo Te

**_Chapter Six: Serva Me, Servabo Te_**

Over the next few weeks they settled into a comfortable schedule for them both. Despite the fact neither of them had really ever shared a home with anyone other then their parents before, they got a long rather well. They had both shared dorm rooms in Hogwarts, but that seemed like a long time ago even for Hermione. The first morning there had been a rather awkward situation involving the bathroom and one of them only wearing a towel, but after that they decided on a schedule and things went much more smoothly after that.

They fight over the paper each morning. Hermione hiding the sections that she hadn't gotten to read yet and Remus always somehow managing to find them. They'd fight over who got each section first, the exception being the sports section. She always lets him have that.

The first night Remus had made her dinner. Well, he had tried to make her dinner. She had come home to a kitchen full of smoke, almost every pan they owned dirty, and Remus in the middle covered in flour. He has yet to tell her what exactly had happened. He took her to his favorite restaurant and they've eaten there at least three times a week since. They had settled into a schedule and that made her happy. She was used to having her life in control. They had their table and their usual waitress, a sweet older woman who had mistaken them for a marred couple the first time ate there together causing Hermione to blush. She only blushed harder when Remus didn't correct her, saying that he thought it would just be easier to let her go on thinking it.

In the short time that she had been there, she was able to meet his neighbors. A sweet older couple, that lived a little while down the road. Remus told her that they often stopped by to bring him something that she had made. The woman loved to bake, but it was only her and her husband, and she often made too much for just them to eat. She would bring the extra to Remus, who always welcomed there company. They took a big liking to Hermione. When Remus was out of the room showing her husband his newest addition to his book collection, she made sure Hermione knew how happy she was for them. They thought that Remus was such a nice, gentle man and they knew that he had been through a lot in his life and that he deserved to be happy. They told her that they were thrilled that he had finally found someone to share his life with. After that, Hermione didn't have the heart to tell them that they were just friends.

She had only been there for two in a half weeks when they first had to deal with the Full moon. She came home from Hogwarts to find a very serious Remus waiting for her. He explained that when the full moon came tomorrow night that he would be there, but he would be securely locked in his room with the wolfsbane potion. Sirius would be there to stay with her each month, in case she needed anything or incase anything went wrong. Sirius would be there to get her out or so that he could morph into Snuffles making sure that she had enough time to get away.

She told him that it wasn't necessary. That she knew if he had his potion that everything would be fine, but he seemed rather adamant about the decision.

She knew that he still felt guilty over what had happened in her third year. No matter what anyone said, he always seemed to think himself a beast because of something that he couldn't control. She wanted nothing more then to show him what she saw when she looked at him. To be able to get him to understand how lovely of a person he was. She really didn't know what she would do without him. She just wished she could make him see that.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

She could tell by the way that he came down the stairs that he was in pain. Last night she had asked Sirius to tell her what Remus had told him about the transformation, but he hadn't told her much. Just that it was painful and that Remus would be very tired the next day. He had seemed so somber as he explained it, that she knew he was holding something back but she figured it was probably at Remus request. And after everything that Remus had done for her she wasn't going to press him on anything. She would just make sure to do whatever she could and hope it was enough.

"How are you feeling?" she asked him.

"I'm fine, Hermione." He lied. He wished it would have been more believable but it was hard to lie while wincing at the contact of the chair.

Hermione decided not to say anything and instead just sat down a cup of tea and a potion vile in front of him before turning back to the counter.

"What's this?" he asked picking up the potion vile.

"It's a pain relieving potion." She said setting a plate full of toast in front of him. That was about all she could cook, and even then it was slightly black.

"I don't normally take anything." He told her, "Pain relieving potions are expensive. I can't accept this, Hermione."

"Remus drink it." She told him.

"But-"

"Remus, if your only reason for not drinking it is because of the cost, then forget it. I brewed it myself and I took the ingredients from Severus' cupboard, so it was no cost to me. So drink up."

"But I don't normally--"

"Then that's what I'm here for." She told him with a smile, "To make sure you do."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Hermione was in the process of convincing Remus to let her read the front page of the post first, when she heard a light taping on the window. She glanced over to see the familiar snowy white owl that she had been avoiding the last few weeks.

Remus let Hedwig in and she flew directly over to Hermione and stuck out her leg for Hermione to take the letter. Hermione quickly unrolled the letter and slowly began to read it as she absentmindedly fed Hedwig some of her toast.

_Hermione,_

_Seems like its been ages since I've actually seen you. Life as an Auror's a lot more busy then Ron and I ever thought it would be. Seems like I haven't been able to do much other then work lately. And the few times I'm not working Ginny's nagging me to help her plan the wedding. Don't tell her I said that. _

_How's life at Hogwarts? Is everyone treating you okay? And you know by everyone, I mean Snape. You know Ron and I would be more then happy to go and talk to him if he's not. I was talking to Dumbledore at the engagement party and he said that there's a good chance that next year you could be taking over one of the teaching positions. I tried to get him to tell me which one, but you know Dumbledore, he hardly ever gives an understandable answer. _

_So, Ron and I were talking and we realized that it's been a while since we've gotten together, just the three of us. We both have some time off from work next Wednesday, so we were wondering if you could meet us at the Three Broomsticks at five. For being best friends we really need to get caught up on each other's lives. I realized that the last time I saw you was at the engagement party, and I didn't really get to talk to you much then. So please come, I miss you. We both do. _

_Harry _

Things were finally getting better for her. She was finally okay with where her life was at this moment. And then this had to happen. She knew that it would eventually but that didn't make her want to panic any less. Harry and Ron could be relentless when they wanted to be but she knew that she wasn't ready to face them yet. While she had accepted the situation, it didn't mean that she had dealt with the situation yet. She still had a long way to go before she was ready to tell them why they hadn't seen her for a while. She could only imagine how they would react, if they knew everything.

"Go back to Harry, Hedwig." She said shooing her away. But Hedwig always was a stubborn bird and she didn't seem to want to leave and instead nipped at her finger. "I said go back Hedwig! I already gave you your bloody treat!"

"She was probably told to wait for a reply." Remus told her gently. It was quite obvious that she was upset.

"And if I don't want to send one?" she asked him stubbornly.

"Then we'll probably have to find someplace for Hedwig to stay, because I doubt Ernest will be willing to share. You know he's a stubborn owl. And you should also expect Harry and Ron to show up at Hogwarts, trying to find out why you didn't respond."

"Oh god, I can just picture that…that is not a pretty picture."

"I wouldn't think so, no." he told her. "I recommend that you write him back."

"He wrote asking me to come with him and Ron to the Three Broomsticks. I don't think I'm ready for that Remus." She said, "They'll notice when I don't order my normal white wine. They'll notice when I keep shifting in my seat, because they know that's when I do when I'm nervous, and trust me I'll be _very_ nervous. Then they'll ask me about what's going on lately, and I'll have to lie because I can't tell them about this, not yet. And I can't lie to them, they always seem to know when I lie to them...Well Harry always seems to know, Ron's usually oblivious. But Harry will bring it up and then Ron will notice it too."

"Hermione, you need to calm down." He said putting his hand over her knee, to get her to stop shaking. "If you don't want to go, no one's going to force you. Write Harry back and tell him that you're busy with work but that you'll catch them next time. Maybe by then you'll be able to tell them what's going on. But Hermione, you need to remember, you can't hide from them forever."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"I picked up a few more books on pregnancy yesterday." Hermione told him setting them down on the table.

"You do know that you don't need to buy every book on the subject." He told her with a laugh, "Just a few will do."

"I like to be informed" she said setting next to him on the couch. "Well at least normally I like to be informed, I'm really not so sure anymore."

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Well I've been reading all of these books and I've come to the conclusion that the whole concept of childbirth is extremely disturbing and painful and just plain wrong. And I'm pretty sure that the whole idea was come created by a man."

"Well I've been reading them too and I have to agree." He told.

"Remus!"

"What?"

"You're not supposed to tell me that. You're supposed to tell me that I'm thinking about it the wrong way and that childbirth is a beautiful experience and that it will all be worth it in the end because I'll have a beautiful baby. And other rubbish like that."

"We'll I'll be sure to remember that next time." He told her with a smile.

"Does this mean I need to go to Sirius for my pep talks now? Because I honestly don't think that he'd be that much help."

"That's because he wouldn't be." he told her with a laugh.

"So who am I supposed to get my advice from?" she asked with him, her mood already lifting. Remus always seemed to know when she needed to laugh and when she needed to him to just be there for her and to offer her soothing words. She was glad that he knew her so well to be able to realize what she needed.

"Well I've always found Severus to be extremely helpful when I need advice." He told her causing her to break out laughing. She loved this side of him. He was so hard on himself sometimes, especially when she saw him after the full moon, it was nice to see that he could laugh and just be playful. She thought he had the most beautiful smile when he laughed like that.

_The most beautiful smile_. That was certainly something that she shouldn't be thinking about Remus. Hopefully it was just the hormones.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Hermione and Remus were still in the living room flipping through the pregnancy books when they heard a familiar tapping at the window.

Hermione hurried over and quickly retrieved the letter and sent the unfamiliar owl on its way. It was odd, she usually recognized people's owls but she was sure that she had never seen that one before. She quickly unrolled the letter to see who it was from.

"Did Harry and Ron send another letter?" he asked.

"No." she said quietly.

Remus quickly noticed her panicked look as she continued to stare at the letter. "Then who is it from?" he asked.

"It's from…it's from my parents." She told him.

"Your parents? How did they get a hold of an owl?"

"I showed them where to get an owl in case they ever needed to get a hold of me in case of an emergency." She answered, her eyes never leaving the paper.

"An emergency, there was an emergency? Hermione, what happened?" He could tell that she was fighting back tears.

"No, no it's nothing like that." She said wiping at her eyes with her sleeve.

"Then why are you crying?" he asked her.

"She died."

"Who died?" he asked hurrying over to her.

"They didn't even break it to me gently." She continued, "They just said they thought I should know. They knew how much she meant to me…they didn't even tell me how it happened? She was young. It can't be of natural causes…Oh god how could she have died?"

"Hermione you need to calm down." He said leading her over to the couch. "Now tell me what happened."

"Hermione, what did the letter say? Who died?" he asked when she didn't respond.

Instead of answering she just handed them the letter that her parents had sent her. She had known that they were angry with her. That they were disappointed in how her life had ended up but she never thought that they could be that unkind. That cold and uncaring. But apparently there was a lot about her parents that she didn't know.

_Hermione,_

_We know that when you left our home last, it was not on pleasant terms and our views on the subject matter have not changed. But unfortunately events have happened that require us to contact you. _

_Your Aunt Helen has passed away. We thought that because the two of you were so close you would want to know what happened. For any more information call your Uncle. I'm sure he'd want to hear from you. _

_Your Parents_

Remus looked at the woman setting in front of him crying. She hadn't talked much about her parents. Just that they hadn't reacted well to the news and that they weren't going to be any help to her. He now understood why she had seemed so broken when she came to him. She had been afraid that he was going to react like them, that everyone was going to react like that. She didn't deserve to have them react that way. She deserved the best that she could have. And he would try his hardest to give it to her.

**A/N: The title means _"Save me and I will save you."_**

**Sorry that this took so long to get out. I had a bit of writer's block and I had to rework a few things so that the timeline would work out for the rest of the story. Even now, I'm not entirely happy with the whole thing… I promise to try to get the next chapter out sooner then I did this one. **

**Thank you to everyone that reviewed. You have to be the best reviewers ever. Like I said that one review did kind of bum me out and its nice to know that people _do_ like my story. **

**Connieewing: _Thank you so much for your review. It made me laugh and made me feel a lot better about the bad review._ **

**AMistressMalfoy: _I love Remus too. He's absolutely one of my favorite characters and I hope I do him justice in my story. Some good angst is coming up soon. Certain events need to take place first, but pretty soon the angst will be hitting the fan._**

**Disko Rhapsody: _Thanks for your review. Sorry that I kept you from getting to sleep but I'm glad that you like my story enough that it kept you from sleep. _**

**Aljinon****: _I'm really glad that you like the story. I love the Remus and Hermione pairing too and I'm always afraid that I'm making the characters too OC or screwing it up some how. It makes me happy when people put me on there alert list, so thanks._ **

**Lady Rachel Lupin****: _Thank you thank you, for your review. It's really nice to hear that people like my story after someone one so strongly tells you that they don't. Hope I didn't disappoint with chapter._ **

**Fairy Love: _Thank you for your review, I'm glad that you like the story. I like to put my own spin on stories and make them a little bit different from the other stuff that I've read, so it's nice to know that someone other then myself thinks that it's original and different._ **

**Thanks to ****harrypassion****Trins****, and Monnbeam for your reviews.**

**Please click the little button and review. Ideas and predictions on what you think will happen are always welcome. **


	8. Chapter Seven:Facta, non verba

**_Chapter Seven: Facta, non verba_**

Her parents never abused her. They never hit her or called her stupid. Every birthday they sent her a gift and every Christmas she would spend weeks picking out theirs. Every summer they would spend weeks at their beach house. It wasn't a bad childhood. It was just a lonely one.

She never doubted her parents loved her. But she did sometimes wonder if they would have been just as content, if not more, never having a child. For as long as she remembered they were always buried in there work. When they weren't at the office they were going over budgets, reviewing patient's charts, locked in the study with the door closed. She was told never to go into the study when the door was closed.

It wasn't as if her parents didn't try. They did. But even when she was considered normal, they never knew quite what to do with her. While other kids were off skipping rope, she was at home with her nose buried in a book. While other kids were learning about how to grow a plant, she wanted to know why the plant grew. She had never been normal in her parents' eyes, and that was all they ever wanted for her. To be an average little girl. When they had found out that she was even more abnormal, they never looked at her the same way. They still loved her, but things were different. Even the eleven year old could tell that.

So they ate dinner together and talked about the weather, instead of what she had done that day. They talked about the patient that they had seen at the office instead of what her friends were like. They talked about the muggle book Hermione had just finished reading, not what she had learned in Hogwarts the previous year. They talked about how the refrigerator was still making a weird whirring noise instead of how nervous she was about taking her N.E.W.T.s. They loved each other, but she never could help but wonder, did she love them just a little bit more?

It wasn't a bad childhood, just a lonely one.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Hermione stared at her reflection in the mirror, scared of what everyone else saw when they looked at the same thing. She had started to put weight on. Not much, but enough for her to notice. Enough for her to think everyone else could notice. Because despite Remus' reassurance that you couldn't tell, she felt as if the words 'I'm pregnant' were written on the front of everything she wore, with the words 'Ask who the father is' on the back.

She found herself constantly worrying about someone finding out and what they would say. But then there were times that she found herself wishing that it _was _obvious she was pregnant. That she did have a big sign announcing it for everyone to know. Then she wouldn't have to think about how she was going to tell them. It would be out there in the open, and she wouldn't have to have a say in the matter.

"Hermione!" Remus called from downstairs, bringing her out of her thoughts. "We need to leave soon if were going to get there on time." They couldn't apparate there because of the baby, so they were going to Floo to the Leaky Caldron and take a cab from there to the church.

Hermione glanced at the mirror one last time, pulling her sweater further down hoping that it would conceal the extra weight, before hurrying down the stairs and into the kitchen. She smiled softly when she saw Remus waiting for her. Very few people in her family knew that she was a witch, so she made sure that Remus had had something muggle to wear for the funeral. He had decided on a black muggle suit with a red shirt underneath.

She smiled fondly when she saw him, she had always seen him in anything other then wizard robes. It was nice to see him in something different.

"Is this alright?" he asked.

"Yes, you look like a very handsome muggle." She said with a smile, "Not a trace of the wizarding world anywhere."

"Thank you, you look very muggle yourself." He told her with a grin.

"Are you ready for this?" he asked her turning serious, but there was still a welcoming smile on his face.

"No" she said softly, "But I need to go anyway."

"Thank you for coming with me Remus. I couldn't do this alone." She told him.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Remus felt Hermione tense up the moment they walked into the church. There were a lot of people already there. She searched the crowd, trying to find her uncle amongst the many people. When she had talked to him on the phone, he had told her to find him when she got there. He had said that he wanted her to set with him and his parents. "You were like a daughter to her, to us." He had said. "If she could have chosen who would be up there, it would have been you." You can't refuse a person after they say something like that.

She finally found her uncle talking to a woman that she didn't recognize. He seemed much better then she thought he was going to be, but when she got closer she could see the bags underneath his eyes proving that he hadn't been sleeping and his suit was wrinkled. She could only imagine what he was going through.

"Uncle Adam." she called quietly. He quickly told the woman he was talking to goodbye and hurried over to Hermione.

"Hey there." he said wrapping her up in a familiar hug. "It's good to see you again. I wish it was under a lot better circumstances, but it's still really good to see you."

"It's good to see you too." She told him, "How you doing?"

"As well as I can." he told her.

"I would have come to see you if I would have known about it sooner." She told him.

"I know you would of." He said finally releasing her from his embrace.

"Who's this?" he asked nodding his head in Remus' direction.

"Oh, this is my friend Remus Lupin." She said pulling Remus up, so that he was next to her instead of behind her. "Remus this is my uncle, Adam Matthews."

"It's nice to meet you." Adam said extending his hand.

"You too." Remus told him.

"I have to go find the minister." Adam told her, "But make sure that we talk before you leave. I'll be setting next to you in the front row there, but obviously I won't be very chatty then. But I have something for you, so just don't leave with out telling me."

"Don't worry," she told him, "I won't."

Hermione and Remus found their seats in the front row, a few spaces down from Adam's parents. Hermione was noticeably looking around the church, trying to find her parents. From where they were setting she could see everyone who came into the church and everyone that decided to leave. She had searched the crowd enough to know that they weren't there yet but she continued to watch the doors, wanting to know the moment that they walked through them.

When the finally did Remus felt her grab his hand. He followed her gaze and recognized the couple as the one's that he had seen in the photographs he had seen years before. He began to rub soothing circles on her back, hoping it would calm her down; her breathing had become much more irregular since they entered the room. But she just kept staring at her parents, who haven't bothered to look at her since they entered the room.

She didn't even register that her uncle had set next to her until she felt him give her hand a squeeze. She tore her eyes away from her parents and tried to give him a reassuring smile. But it was hard to be reassuring to anyone when you felt so conflicted inside.

She watched as the minister stood and made his way to the front. "Helen Matthews was a great woman." He began, "She was the type of woman to find an injured dog on the side of the road and take him home and fix him up. She was the kind of woman that could find the humor in even the worst of situations. She was the kind of woman that loved to help others in need, but never expected anything in return."

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

The funeral seemed to go by faster then Hermione thought it would. She had only been able to make it through ten minutes of the service before she burst into tears, burying her head into Remus' shoulder. The minister had done a beautiful job at capturing the essence of Helen, making the service that much more beautiful. Helen would have liked it. Along with the tears there were a few laughs, as everyone remembered her and who she was.

Hermione took a few minutes to try to compose herself, Helen always hated it when people cried, causing her to be one of the last people to go up and see her. Saying goodbye was hard for her. Helen had been her favorite aunt. When she was younger Helen could do no wrong in Hermione's eyes and even as an adult she was still high up on a pedestal. She had been the one to buy her her first novel. Her parents had thought that she had been too young, but Helen had known she wasn't. She had been the one to take her to her first R rated movie despite her mother's protests that she was too young. She was the one who she called when she and her mother got into a fight. Helen had been the first person she told when she found out she was a witch. She had been so excited for her. She had come with her to Diagon Alley once and had practically been in heaven. She had always loved the idea of the paranormal and to see it right in front of her, that was a dream come true. She hadn't seen Hermione as a freak. She had called her special and had meant it in a good way. This wasn't fair. People like Helen weren't supposed to die. She didn't deserve to die.

"I miss you. We all do." She whispered, kissing her forehead.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Just like she promised she found her uncle after some of the people had cleared out. He looked relived to see her but he was talking to her great Aunt Marie and people usually wanted to get away from her after a couple minutes of talking. Adam wasn't any different.

"Thanks." He said as he led them away. "Aunt Molly wasn't the person I really wanted to be talking to right now. But I wasn't sure how to get away exactly."

"I can imagine." Hermione said as she followed him into another room. "Umm…where are we going?"

"I want to give you something. I put it in here, so that it wouldn't be disturbed or get taken." He said stopping in front of a door.

"Helen did always say we had a kleptomaniac in the family." Hermione said with a small smile, "She just wouldn't tell me who."

"You have an interesting family Hermione." Remus said with a small chuckle.

"Yeah and I doubt she's told you about everyone." Adam told him with a smile. Hermione was glad Remus was there and that he could relieve the tension. If it was just her and Adam there would probably be a lot more awkward silence, because she would be too afraid that she was going to say the wrong thing.

Adam sat down at one of the many chairs and motioned for them to do the same.

"Hermione…" he began. "About two weeks ago Helen went to see your parents. She went over for her normal visit. You know her and your mother try to get together at least once a month since your grandmother died."

"Yeah." she said quietly. She really didn't want to talk about her mother.

"Well, like always, Helen brought up the subject of you. She hadn't received a letter from you for a little while and just wanted to make sure that everything was okay. She knew when you last talked that…well she said that the last time you talked you kind of seemed sad. She just wanted to make sure everything was okay. And well everything kind of spilled out into the open while she was there." he said glancing at Remus and then back to her, if asking if it was okay to talk about it in front of him.

She nodded her head for him to continue.

"Well needless to say, when she found out she was livid. After yelling at your parents she came back and ranted to me about it for another couple of hours. She was really upset about what they did, Hermione. She called them bloody idiots and a few other words I probably shouldn't repeat. She wanted to talk to you, she just didn't know how to get a hold of you without use of your parents and she still thought they were idiots, so she wasn't going back there for awhile. But she wanted you to know that everything was going to be okay. That despite your parents being pricks, people still loved you and cared. I suppose this bloke helped you figure that out." He said talking about Remus. "She would have been happy to know that you had someone there to help take care of you. She loved you kid."

Hermione had long stopped trying to fight back tears.

"I have something for you." He said going over to the desk and pulling a small black box out one of the draws.

"Helen would have wanted you to have it." He said handing it to her.

"Go on, open it." He encouraged her.

"Okay." She said wiping her tears away with her sleeve. She opened the box to see a familiar sparkling ring. It had been her great-great grandmother's ring, a family heirloom that had been passed down to the first daughter who got married in each generation. It had been passed down to Helen when she was eighteen and she and Adam had run off and eloped. Her mother had never been very happy that she had gotten it instead of her, thinking that she was the oldest and deserved it more.

"She had planned on giving it to you when you got married." He explained, "Helen always thought of you as the daughter that we never had. I know she would have wanted you to have it and to wear it, just like she did."

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Hermione was still wiping her eyes as her and Remus headed back to the main room, but this time she was sporting her aunt's ring. If Helen had wanted her to have it then she would wear it with pride. She saw her parents talking with her cousin. Talking and occasionally smiling. There was a large part of her that ached to be the reason they were smiling.

"Do you want to go talk to them?" Remus asked noticing her gaze. "You don't have to. I'm not pushing either way. I just wondered...You want to see them, I know you do."

"Yeah, I do." She said with a watery smile. "It's actually a very good idea. I mean they can't yell at me in front of this many people or in a church. You can't yell at someone in church, can you?"

"You'd probably know better then me." He told her.

"Okay." she said taking a long breath, "I'm just talking to my parents, that can't be that hard. Can it?"

"Do you want me to go with you?" he offered. He could tell she was nervous and that this was hard for her. But he could also tell that it was what she wanted.

"No, but stick close by." She told him.

_It's just my parents._ She kept repeating herself as she walked over. Her mother was still talking to her cousin but her father had already wandered off somewhere. Probably to pull the car around, her father never did like to stay anywhere too long.

"Mum." She heard herself say, stopping several paces from her. She couldn't bring herself to stop closer.

Her mother turned around an emotionless expression on her face.

"Mum…" she began again. But her mother just shook her head, as if saying no. And then she just walked away. Never uttering a word but her eyes saying it all. As far her mother was concerned she had no daughter. It would have hurt less if she had actually said the words.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Her parents never abused her. They never hit her or called her stupid. Every birthday they sent her a gift and every Christmas she would spend weeks picking out theirs. Every summer they would spend weeks at their beach house. It wasn't a bad childhood. It was just a lonely one.

Through out the years her parents and Hermione had grown apart. The letters became fewer and far between. The visits seemed more strained. Hermione had known that things were different, she had tried to deny it, but she knew it. But denial was something she was good at. It was the only thing she knew how to do when things got bad. But faced with it there, in front of so many people, she came to a decision.

This baby was going to be loved and taken care of. His or her many questions would always be answered. They would be told that they were special, not different. She would be the one to buy them there first novel. She would ask them about there friends when they ate together, not talk about the sounds the refrigerator was making. She would not be the cause of her child's tears; she would be the one wiping them away. Her study door would always be open.

This baby was going to be loved and take care of. They would be able to say more about there childhood then the fact that it wasn't bad.

**

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**A/N: The title means "_Deeds, not words" _or in other words_ "Actions speak louder than words."_ Thank you to everyone that reviewed. I've said it before, and I mean it even more now, when I say you guys are the best reviewers ever. **

**_Nynaeve80_****_: Thank you for the review. I like the idea of each chapter being a new adventure. It makes me smile._**

**_cheeky splash_****_: Okay, I love your username. Its definitely one of my favorites that I've seen. Thanks for the review!_**

**_Aljinon: Thanks for the review. I think that their cute together too. I'm trying to build up the relationship slowly because in this case there are definitely some obstacles in the way of them possibly having a relationship. And I think you have to know someone really well before your willing to take a risk on that big of a thing, when there are so many other factors to worry about. Romance is definitely not the first thing on Hermione's mind right now. _**

**_Trins: I love your review. I found the part about Remus removing the air out of his head hilarious. And even though I'm writing it, kind of have to agree with you. I'm glad you thought that it was funny, or parts of it were anyways. I have to admit that that part of that was kind of my own personal feelings. I know that the whole experience is absolutely worth it, but I've been considering adoption since I was seven and saw a woman having a baby on television and all the pain she went through, along with some pictures that can really scar a person. But I'll get over it eventually…Hopefully anyways. _**

**_AMistressMalfoy: I like it when angst hits the fan myself. I hope you like what I'm doing with the relationship. I don't think I'm that good at the whole romance part of this, so I hope I'm doing this okay so far. _**

**_katemburke33: Thanks for the review. Remus is definitely one of my favorite too. And its really nice to hear that you think that I'm portraying him alright, because I'm really nervous about how I write him. I have yet to figure out what goes on in men's heads other then its meant to annoy me, so I'm not sure that I'm getting him right but I'm trying my best. _**

**_Big thanks to Monnbeam, _****_connieewing_****_Fairy Love_****_, and _****_Cry of the Wolf Child_****_ for reviewing. I'm glad that you like the story so far. _**

**Sorry that this chapter took so long. I wanted to get it out sooner but life got in the way and that darn writer's block popped up again. But to all of my faithful reviewers, I leave you this.**

**Next chapter: More nightmares, misunderstandings, a Halloween Ball and surprise visits from some wanted characters and maybe some unexpected characters. Or that's the plan at least. **

**Please Review! It makes me happy! Ideas, predictions, and suggestions are always welcome. In fact they might help with the writer's block that keeps annoying me. **


	9. Chapter Eight: Raptus Regaliter

**_Chapter Eight: Raptus Regaliter _**

Hermione's eyes snapped open and she found herself back in her bedroom, there were tears streaming down her face and she was tangled up in her sheets. She had thought that she had gotten over her dreams, but apparently she was wrong. The last few nights every time that she fell asleep she would enter a world where everyone was against her and even the thought of this baby. She dreaded going to bed every night, yet she was always too tired to stop herself from falling asleep.

She showered and dressed slowly; careful to pick out loose closely that wouldn't reveal anything. Luckily the robes the school had provided her with were just as loose as the student uniforms. Harry and Ron used to joke that you could hide a whole other person into Hogwarts robes. They weren't wrong.

Remus was already downstairs cooking breakfast when she came down. He was making scrambled eggs, it was simple but he could successfully make it and Hermione usually preferred to eat a light breakfasts on days she worked at Hogwarts. It may not have worked for others, but it worked for them.

As she sat down at the table he noticed that she looked more tired then she normally did. She wasn't ever a morning person, but she was normally more upbeat then this. Actually since her aunt's funeral a few weeks ago, she had become considerably more upbeat. He wasn't sure what had happened but she had seemed happier. More accepting. She had even talked about telling Harry and Ron. It was still in the abstract, but it was better then her constantly debating on what she was going to do in her head. But now she looked rather upset and worried; a deep contrast to what she looked like just the say before.

"Are you alright?" he asked setting down next to her.

"Yeah, I'm fine." She told him forcing a smile.

"I guess I'm just a little worried about the Halloween ball." She continued seeing his skeptical look. It wasn't what she was really worried about, but she had been thinking about it for the last couple of days.

"What is there to be worried about?" he asked her, "It's just a ball. There supposed to be fun."

"It is when you're in school and worried about what color your dress should be." She explained. "Not when your teacher's aid worrying about if her dress shows off her pregnancy."

"Hermione, we've discussed this." He said, "You can barely tell. Besides…would it really be that bad if everyone knew?"

"No…yes…I don't know. I mean I guess not, but I guess I…I just kind of wanted to tell Harry and Ron before everyone else knew. And I just haven't been able to work up the courage to do that quite yet."

"Well like I said, you have nothing to worry about. You look just as beautiful as you always did, if not more. There's just a teeny-tiny bit more of you to love." He told her with a smile. "And I think you're a lot closer to telling Harry and Ron then you think."

---------------------------------

Hermione had been thrilled when Professor Flitwick had asked her to cover his classes when he had talked to her the week before, but now she was beginning to regret her decision of saying yes. She had been having trouble concentrating all day. Despite her many attempts to focus, her mind kept going back to the dream that she had had last night and all of the horrible things that Harry and Ron had said to her. She knew that it wasn' really them, but that didn't make it hurt less. She could still see Ron's face full of disgust. And Harry's face had reminded her so much of her mother's at Helen's funeral that it still hurt to think about.

She was snapped out of her thoughts when she heard crash and swung around to see a very sheepish looking girl covered in feathers.

"Sorry." She said blushing furiously.

"It's quite alright Missy." Hermione told her a smile. It was a good thing these were sixth years and not first years otherwise it might have been much worse. She was supposed to be covering for Flitwick's classes all week, and if she didn't get her head out of the clouds soon, one of the students could get seriously hurt.

"That's enough for today." She announced as the class looked up at her surprise. "I know that were done early, but think of it as another free time to catch up a little before your next class. Just make sure that you are quiet in the halls so that you don't disturb the students who are still working."

"Remember to work on this charm before next class. I want to be able to see that each of you understands the concept and basic principles of this charm next class. And remember if I don't think that you've tried or that you don't understand you will have to write an essay. So I recommend practicing."

--------------------------------

After what happened with Missy Rockford in her first class Hermione decided that she couldn't allow anything else like that to happen. She hadn't been paying attention all class, and she had all but left the students alone to do a complicated spell. What a great professor she would make someday.

During lunch she had come up with the idea of going to Poppy for a dreamless sleep potion. It wouldn't help her get rid of her problems but it would a least postpone them until she was ready to deal with them. But as she continued to think about it, she realized that the potion didn't just affect her, it also affected the baby.

Normally she would have discussed it with Poppy, she had always enjoyed questioning her about wizarding medicine and Poppy had always seemed to enjoy debating with her. But to find out, she would have to tell her about the baby and that wasn't an option. Not yet. She hadn't been lying to Remus when she told him that she wanted to tell Harry and Ron first. Enough people knew as it was, she didn't want Harry and Ron to feel like she had been just hiding it from just them.

So she decided to swallow her pride and go to the next best person. He may not have the best bedside manner, but he knew about everything and to be fair, Poppy wasn't exactly known for it either. You would be better when you left the hospital wing, but you would have learned the hard way never to go against what she said.

---------------------------

"Severus." Hermione called going into the dungeons. She only had fifteen minutes before she had to teach her next class.

"Severus, are you down h-" she stopped mid-sentence when she saw that he wasn't alone.

Lucius and Draco were setting across from him at his desk. Lucius' face was impassive as he scrutinized her but Draco's face was full of surprise.

"I apologize." She said regaining her composure. "I wasn't aware that you had guests."

"It's quite alright, Miss Granger." He said standing up, "What can I do for you?"

"I was hoping that you had dreamless sleep potion in stock." She told him.

"You can't take dreamless sleep potion while you are pregnant." He told her causing Draco to choke on his tea and her to blush.

"I was afraid of that." She said deliberately avoiding meeting any of there eyes. "In one of the books I read it said that there was a variation. It's the same type that is used if someone is allergic to the common form of dreamless sleep. Do you have something like that?"

"I'm not sure." He said considering it for a moment. "Yes, I think I might. Excuse me, while I see if I have any in stock." He said before disappearing into his private chambers.

"I didn't know you worked here, Granger." Draco smirked at her once he was gone.

"I have for a while now." She said, trying her best to stay calm. She really didn't want to have to deal with the Malfoy's right now. She would prefer not to have to deal with them at any time, but especially not when she was tired and could be easily made upset.

"Now, now Draco, where have your manners disappeared to?" Lucius told him.

"You'll have to excuse my son, Miss Granger. Though I suspect it's not _Miss_ Granger anymore." He said looking her up and down. "I wasn't aware that you had married anyone."

"That's because I haven't yet." She said narrowing her eyes at Draco who was smirking at her. She could tell what he was thinking. Know-It-All Granger had gone and gotten herself knocked up.

"Then you'll have to introduce us to your fiancé sometime." He said, his gaze flickering down to the ring that rested on her finger.

"I wasn't aware that you were engaged." Severus said coming up beside her. "I knew you were living with him but I hardly thought Lupin would actually have gotten up the nerve to propose."

"That's because he hasn't." she told him sharply.

"Lupin?" Draco spluttered, "As in_ Professor _Lupin?"

"That would be the one." She snapped. "Now, if I could have those potions, Severus." She said turning back to him.

"Of course." He told her with a smirk, "I supplied you with two vials of the variation of the dreamless sleep potion and two vials of a pepper-up potion that is created the same way. This variation of the dreamless sleep doesn't work for everyone, and you might need the pepper-up if you're having trouble sleeping at night. I'd also recommend trying to sleep somewhere else, and seeing if that has any effect on your sleeping patterns. It might be _**what** _is lying next to you that is causing the problem."

"How considerate." She scoffed. And it would have been, if it wasn't for the underlying malice in his words. His hatred for Remus often caused him to take his anger out on her lately. The idea of her and Remus together seemed to really bother him, though she had yet to figure out why.

"Thank you for the potions, Severus. Mr. Malfoy, Draco, it was…_nice_ seeing you again." She said trying not to choke on the words. "But if you'll excuse me. Professor Flitwick is having me teach his Sixth Year classes and you can't leave the Gryffindors and the Slytherins alone for too long. Bad things tend to happen." She continued, her eyes landing on Draco.

"Of course" Lucius said, "We all know how that is. I do hope to see you soon Miss Granger."

"Likewise." She lied before slipping out the door.

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"Hermione I know you're worried about tonight but we need to get a move on if were to get there on time." Remus called from her outside her door. He had been ready to go for almost an hour.

"I know I'm sorry." She called back. "I'll be there in a minute."

She was still trying to decide if she should wear her Aunt's ring. She loved it and she took pride in wearing it, but she didn't want another incident like today. It was an engagement ring and she wasn't engaged. It only brought up unwanted questions and added to the latest gossip about her in the staff room. Because for as much as the professors encourage the students not to start rumors, they sure liked to talk about it themselves. Lately she would catch some of the other's professor's eyes on her. They never said anything, but she knew there was talk. If it was like this now, she could only imagine how it would be when they knew about everything.

But she couldn't help but think that her Uncle had given her this ring, that her aunt had wanted her to have this ring. Wearing it helped remind her to be brave and what her aunt had stood for. Her aunt still managed to give her advice even after she was gone.

There was another knock on her door, warning her that they needed to get going, as Remus made his way downstairs. Still wary or what others would think, but not wanting to go without it, she slipped the ring on to her finger and then slipped her glove over it. That way it was still there to remind her, but not so anyone else would notice. She took one more glance at the mirror before leaving, hoping that the night would go better then she thought it would.

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Remus was still entranced as they entered the ball room. She had decided upon a midnight blue dress with an empire waist, to help conceal the pregnancy weight, and he thought she was absolutely beautiful. Her hair was down in curls and she was practically glowing. He knew that she was nervous and worried about how she looked, but to him she was the most beautiful thing in the room.

"They did a lovely job decorating the Great Hall." She said as they looked around. "Much better we did our seventh year."

"Weren't you in charge of the decorations in your seventh year?" he asked.

"Well yes, but so was Malfoy and we had…a little trouble agreeing upon things, so a lot of it was done last minute. This looks like a lot of time was put into it." And it did. The whole hall was done in Black with touches of red and white spread all through the room. There was mist swirling throughout and the lights were off leaving only the floating candles to light the room. It was eerie but somehow romantic at the same time.

"Let's go get some punch before someone spikes it and I don't get the chance to drink it." She suggested before dragging him to the punch bowl. He let her guide him through the many people that he did and didn't recognize. Fourth year through seventh year had been invited, along with the school governors and some of the alumni. Dumbledore had said that the professors needed to have more fun in their lives so he had made it a required event for the staff to attend.

"Hermione! Remus!" They heard someone call as they neared the punchbowl.

"Is that Sirius?" Hermione asked as they saw a mass of black hair coming towards him in the crowd.

"I think so." Remus said as it came closer. "It's hard to tell though, he's wearing dress robes and his hair is pulled back."

"I think he may have actually washed his hair." He said causing her to laugh.

"There you are." Sirius said finally reaching them.

"Hey Sirius" Hermione said taking a sip of her punch, "Don't you look dashing tonight."

"Thanks you look quite beautiful yourself." He told her causing her to blush, "But look I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I really didn't know until just before we left. I was getting ready and then they were there. And I would have flooed your house, but by the time I could have it would have been to late…"

"Sirius you sound like me." Hermione said successfully stopping him.

"What?" he asked.

"You're rambling." Remus explained at Sirius confused look.

"Oh sorry." He said smiling sheepishly.

"It's alright Sirius; we're just a little confused about what you're trying to tell us." Hermione said with a reassuring smile. "So what's going on? I picked up on the words sorry, didn't know, flooed, and late. But it's hard to put together a story with that little of information."

"You mean you haven't seen them yet?" he asked.

"Seen who Sirius?" Remus asked.

"Mione!" She heard a familiar voice call from her right.

"That sounded like…" Hermione stopped as she realized what Sirius had been trying to tell her.

"Oh no" Was all she could get out before Harry and Ron enveloped her into a hug.

_**

* * *

**__**Dum Dum Dum….**_

**The title means _"Royally Screwed."_ **

**Sorry it took me so long to get this chapter out but life and school keeps getting in the way. Thanks to everyone that reviewed, you guys rock! Stay tuned I'll get the next chapter out as soon as I can. **

**Please Review! It makes me happy! Ideas, predictions, and suggestions are always welcome. In fact they might help with the writer's block that keeps annoying me. **


	10. Chapter Nine: Nihil Inimicius Quam Sibi

**_Chapter Nine: Nihil Inimicius Quam Sibi Ipse_**

"It's great to see you Mione." Ron said as he released her from the hug. "Not a bad view either, if I may say so myself." He told her with a grin.

"Hey guys." She said forcing a smile and fighting the urge to cry. She was happy to see them, she had missed them so much, but she wasn't prepared for this right now. She hadn't thought about them being here. She hadn't thought about them surprising her, she had always thought that she would be the one to surprise them.

"It seems like forever since we've seen you." Harry said enveloping her in another hug, it was clear that he had missed her.

"Yeah, it has been awhile." She said, "Time seems as if it's flying by lately."

"I know what you mean" Harry said, "Auror business keeps you really busy. I hardly have time to go home."

"But to be fair, when your not at work your usually at Ginny's, so that might have something to do with it." Sirius told him with a grin.

"Where is Ginny? You didn't leave her home did you?" Remus asked.

"No, she just ran into an old classmate." Harry told them. "She'll be happy to see you Hermione. She keeps talking about how she wants you to come over to the new apartment. She's says that the apartment needs something and that she needs another woman's opinion. I told her that there's nothing wrong with it, but she doesn't trust me to make that decision."

"Well I don't know how much better I'll be, but I guess I could come over there sometime…" she said glancing over to Remus, her eyes begging him for help. Remus noticed her plea for help, and took the opportunity to speak up.

"You know, I'm rather fond of this song." He said, "Hermione would you care to dance?"

"I'd love to." She said smiling gratefully, putting her hand into his offered one. He gave it a gentle squeeze before leading her away from her friends and onto the dance floor.

"Are you okay?" he asked, once he was sure that they couldn't be heard.

"I have absolutely no idea." She told him with a weak smile.

"Well maybe this is a good thing." He suggested, "Their here, their obviously happy to see you, just get a few cups of that spiked punch in them and telling them will be a breeze."

"I don't think it will be _that_ easy." She told him with a laugh.

"Maybe not, but I don't think that it will be as hard as you think its going to be either."

"Maybe not." she said getting a determined glint in her eyes.

"Let's just forget about it for tonight and just have fun." He noted a hopeful tone in her voice.

"You sure?" he asked.

"Yeah, I think we both deserve a bit of fun."

"Well then good, because I really do like this song." He said pulling her closer.

She laughed as he began to sing out loud to the song, rather badly, and smiled happily as he spun her around. Remus loved to see her happy and laughing and felt a surge of pride over the fact that he was the one causing it.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

After another two songs, they made their way off the dance floor and over to the table they spotted Sirius and Ron setting at.

"Are you two enjoying the party?" Hermione asked as Remus helped her into her seat.

"So far yes," Ron told her, "But I'm pretty sure someone spiked the punch, so that could be why."

"Someone _always _spikes the punch." Sirius said, "Fifth through seventh year when we went to Hogwarts, it was me."

"Why am I not surprised?" Hermione asked with a grin.

"Because you know him too well." Harry said earning him a smile as he helped Ginny into her seat, before setting down next to Hermione.

"You know I'm getting a bit thirsty." Sirius said, "Does anyone else want anything?"

"Anything with alcohol." Ron said with a smile.

"I'll take some pumpkin juice." Harry told him chuckling at his friend.

"A glass of punch please." Ginny said.

"If you wouldn't mind, punch would be nice." Hermione said with a grateful smile.

"I don't think I have that many hands." Sirius said.

"I'll help you carry everything." Remus offered.

"Thanks." He said standing up.

Remus was about to follow when Hermione put a hand on his knee to stop him, leaning over so that no one else would here. "Make sure mine doesn't have any alcohol in it." She whispered in his ear. Ron was as oblivious as normal, but both Harry and Ginny raised their eyebrows at the familiar action between the two.

"Don't worry." He told her before standing up and following Sirius.

"So, how are the wedding plans coming?" she asked turning to Ginny. She had noticed the questioning look that she was giving her, and she knew that the subject of the wedding would distract her.

"Oh no, please don't get her started on the wedding." Harry moaned.

"Oh shut up!" Ginny said hitting him on his arm. "The plans are coming along pretty well. It's going to be in the backyard at the Burrow like Bill and Fleur's wedding."

Hermione did her best not to flinch at his name.

"So it probably won't be until late next summer." Ginny continued, "We were thinking a mid-July wedding, so that we'd back from the Honeymoon in time for Harry's birthday."

"Have you thought about the honeymoon yet?" she asked regretting having asked the question in the first place.

"A lot." Ginny said with a large smile, causing both Ron and Harry to look uncomfortable.

"I meant about where!" Hermione laughed.

"Oh well, then no." Ginny said.

"So what about you?" Harry asked trying to change the subject.

"Well I'm not getting married so I haven't really planned my honeymoon. But I've always imagined it to include a very handsome man, lots of chocolate, and the beach. I've always liked the ocean, I find it very relaxing." She told him.

"I _meant_ that we haven't seen you for awhile." He sighed, "What have you been up too?"

She had known what he meant; she just didn't know what to tell them. "Well work has been keeping me pretty busy." She explained, "The professors are a lot more trusting now that I've been here for awhile. Actually Flitwick had me teach his sixth year classes today. It went pretty well except for this one incident with Missy Rockford. I don't what she did exactly but she ended up covered in feathers, which was a bit odd considering they were supposed to be learning an engorging charm…."

"At least the students keep you amused." Harry said.

"True." She said with a smile.

"So anything else new?" Ginny asked. "_Anybody_ special we should know about? Is that cute Ancient Runes professor still here?"

Hermione couldn't help but tense up. A part of her wanted so badly just to tell them, but there was another part of her, a much louder part, that was full of doubts and nervous about what they would do. Either way this wasn't the place to break the news.

"Do you mean Adam?" she asked trying to evade the question. "He's still here, but he's usually buried in his work. I don't see much of him other then at lunch or at staff meetings, and the occasional time he asks me to help him with his classes. He's usually in library, grading papers or working on his own projects."

"The library huh? Seems like you'd be a perfect match." Ron said with a grin.

"You Miss Granger are avoiding the question." Ginny pointed out.

"What question? I told you about Adam." Hermione asked trying to look distracted. She didn't know what to say to them. Bill and her weren't in any sort of relationship, but she felt as if she would be lying if she told them no. It would be as if she was lying, after all she was pregnant. That's something they'd probably considered that they should know about. "Umm…there's a couple over there getting a little too close. I should probably break them up." She said standing up.

"Oh come on Hermione, let them have there fun." Ron said, "If I remember correctly you and I were doing the same thing at our seventh year dance."

"Yes, well if I remember correctly" Hermione said with a smile, "Professor Snape broke us up rather quickly. Now thinking back on it would you have preferred to get stopped by him, who took ten of Gryffindor's points a piece, or me, who will let them off with just a warning?"

"How could you have broken us up if you were the one that needed broken up?" He asked confused.

"Never mind." She said shaking her head, "I'll be back in a minute."

Just relieved to be getting away from the table and all of the questioning, she quickly made her way across the hall to the entwined couple.

"Charles, Lacey." She said causing them to abruptly stop what they were doing. "If you two keep doing that you're probably going to get in trouble."

"Isn't that what's happening now?" Lacey asked nervously.

"No this is just a friendly warning, along with a piece of advice." She explained. "If you want to make out then I recommend going out into the gardens or on the Astronomy tower with the rest of the couples. I speak from personal experience when I say it's much more romantic and there are a lot less teachers and alumni watching."

"Are you actually encouraging us to break a rule?" Charles asked stunned.

"No, I'm simply telling you the truth. Besides, you got me out of a rather awkward conversation, so think of it as a thank you. Though I do have to admit if I find you up there later, I will be forced to take points. So go at your own risk."

"Thanks Mrs. Granger." Lacey said with a smile.

"It's still _Miss _Lacey." She said.

"Oh but I thought you--"

"Come on Lace, let's go." Charles said looking over Hermione shoulder. He quickly led his girlfriend away, glancing over his shoulder nervously. Hermione turned around to see what he was looking at, and saw Snape standing there. He was wearing dress-robes and had his hair pulled back, but it was still Snape behind the mask.

"You do realize you're supposed to be discouraging the students, not encouraging them." he told her.

"But where's the fun in that?" she asked, causing him to roll his eyes. "So what can I do for you?"

"A dance."

"Excuse me?"

"I would like you to dance with me." he said with sigh. She was so surprised by his words that she managed to overlook the sarcasm.

"I'm sorry you'll have to repeat that one more time, because I could have sworn I heard you ask me to dance."

"I did." He told her.

"Dumbledore and I made an agreement." He continued when she still hadn't moved. "I was required to attend the ball until I danced at least once, after that I would be free to leave. I obviously can't dance with a student and our staff is lacking in women. I would much prefer to dance with you then Trelawney."

"Well you certainly know how to make a girl feel special." She said before accepting his offered hand. He led her into the sea of students, appearing as if he was looking for someone. When he finally stopped she noticed that they could be seen clearly from the right half of the room, which just happened to be where Dumbledore was talking to Harry.

"Wanted to make sure he saw you I see. What, are you afraid he'll make you dance again if he doesn't see you the first time?"

"I'm just making sure." He told her as he slipped one hand around her waist.

"So are you having any fun this evening?" she asked hoping to start a conversation so that the whole dance wouldn't be in an awkward silence.

"It's not exactly my type of fun, but it could be worse I suppose." He said as he guided her gracefully around the dance floor. He was a surprisingly good dancer.

"At least you're looking at the bright side." She told him with a smile. Severus really wasn't that bad once you got used to him. He wasn't that good either, but he wasn't that bad.

"So, I take it Potter and Weasley aren't aware of what's going on with you and Lupin." He said.

"There's nothing go on between me and Remus. Or at least not in the way you're suggesting." She told him, "And how would you know what we've told Harry and Ron?"

"I'm simply perceptive. And you can't honestly tell me that there is nothing going on there. You need only eyes and a few working brain cells to see it, which is obvious why Potter and Weasley can't."

"Severus." She said the warning clear in her voice.

"I am only speaking the truth." He told her.

"Or your own interpretation of it." She bit back.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Remus and Sirius continued there way to the refreshment table after being distracted by Hagrid, who they hadn't seen for a while. Sirius had enjoyed the conversation but halfway through he noticed Remus' attention wavering as he watched something in the crowd. He couldn't see then but from where he was now he could see it quite clearly. Hermione was dancing with Severus, and Remus didn't like it. Of course he couldn't blame him, he didn't really like it either but he had a feeling that it wasn't for the same reasons. There was an obvious glint of jealousy in Remus' eyes.

"If it helps, she looked much happier when she was dancing with you." He told him.

"What?" Remus asked finally taking his eyes off Hermione.

"I said that Hermione looked a lot happier dancing with you. I don't think you need to worry about Snape. While I don't think she shares our opinion about him, I don't think she's as fond of him as you think she is."

"I'm not jealous, Sirius." Remus told him.

"Never said you were mate, you came to that conclusion all by yourself." Sirius said as he poured another glass of punch.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"It appears there's a side of Severus Snape no one knows about." Hermione said as the song came to an end. "You're quite the good dancer, Severus."

"I've have had worse partners I suppose." From anyone else it wouldn't be considered a compliment, but from his it was the closest you were going to get.

"I'll see you Monday, Severus." She told him with a smile as he began to leave, a nod was all she received in response.

She tuned to go back to the table only to be stopped by someone standing there.

"Mr. Malfoy." She said smiling politely before trying to go around him.

"If you don't mind Miss Granger," he said grabbing her arm and turning her around, "I'd like a dance."

He didn't wait for answer before he wrapped his arm around her waist while taking her other hand in his own.

"You look quite lovely this evening Miss Granger." He told her.

"Thank you Mr. Malfoy." She told him uneasily.

"Positively glowing." He said.

"Of course if I remember correctly that does come along with the pregnancy." He continued. "Narcissa was radiant all through her pregnancy with Draco."

Hermione couldn't help but visibly tense up as he talked. There were eyes and ears all around them that were probably listening in trying to figure out why these two people, who disagreed on almost everything, were dancing together. She didn't need them picking anything up accidentally.

"Oh I wouldn't be worried about anyone overhearing." He told her with a cruel smile, "Mr. Potter and his fiancé have made there way onto the dance floor and everyone's attention has reverted to him."

"Speaking of Mr. Potter, are he and Mr. Weasley in on the little secret? No, I'd say from your expression they haven't the faintest idea." His smirk had changed into a hateful smile. She knew he was enjoying this.

"I can see why you're hesitant to tell them. An unwed mother, that's looked down upon in both the wizarding and the muggle world, and well, neither of them are known for their mild tempers, are they? Yes, I can just picture it now. I suspect that it will be quite the ugly scene."

"But of course you know Mr. Potter and Mr. Weasley much better than I do, maybe I'm wrong. Perhaps we should ask them how they think they would react to the news that there supposed best friend has moved in with their _old_ professor, without their knowledge. That reaction should give you an idea on how they will react to finding out about everything else." He said his eyes lingering on her stomach.

She knew that he was talking about Remus but she knew the same rang true about Bill. Would they ever be able to accept what happened between the two of them? Would they look at this baby as the wonderful gift she thought it was or would they think they were nothing more then a product of a mistake?

"Do you really think they'll be happy for you?" he asked softly, leaning closer to her ear. "That they'll understand. They'll find you repulsive when they find out what you've done. When they find out how easily you gave yourself away to the first _thing _that came along. They will never look at you quite the same way after they find out what you've been hiding. And even if they do get over what you've done, there will always be a part of them wondering what else you've kept from them. What else you're hiding behind baggy robes and little white lies. After all they are your best friends, shouldn't you be able to tell them anything?"

She glanced back to see Harry dancing with Ginny but all she could see was him mocking her in her dreams. His words ringing in her head. _What you did, we can't forgive. _

She found Ron in the crowd laughing with Remus and Sirius and she saw him tearing the locket he had given her in seventh year from her neck, his face full of disgust.

"But like I said, you know them better then I do. There's always a chance I'm wrong."

Hermione barely noticed the song end before Lucius bowed mockingly, kissing her hand.

"Thank you for the dance, Miss Granger." He told her before turning and getting lost in the crowd.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Hermione slowly made her way back to the table, her thoughts running rapidly trying to process everything that Lucius had said. She knew that he had just said it to hurt her, to upset her, but that didn't mean it could be true. Sometimes the truth really was more upsetting then the lies.

"Hermione are you okay?" Remus asked as she suddenly found herself at the table.

"Yeah." She said forcing a smile.

To everyone else she seemed fine, but Remus could tell that her smile was fake and that her posture was rigid. Malfoy had said something when they were dancing together, something upsetting enough to cause her to loose all of the confidence that she had been radiating earlier. Remus found himself suddenly wishing that he hadn't suppressed the urge to cut in when he saw her dancing with Lucius, thinking that it was just another surge of jealousy.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"I'm fine" she repeated, "I just think I've had a little too much of that spiked punch. I've never really been able to hold my alcohol."

Remus picked up on the obvious lie and could tell Sirius did too. Her eyes locked with Remus, silently pleading with him to get her out of there.

"Then maybe you should go home if you're not feeling well." He suggested, "All this noise won't help."

"Maybe your right." She said standing up.

"I'll take you home." He told her helping her out of her chair.

"I can walk her back." Harry said.

"No Harry you stay here, enjoy the Ball with your fiancé." She told him. "You both deserve some fun."

"Make sure you tell Ron I said goodbye." She told him as she let Remus wrap his jacket around her.

"I'll make sure she gets back okay." Remus told him with a reassuring smile. "I hope to see you soon Harry. Bye Sirius."

Harry watched Remus lead her away a worried look on his face. Then suddenly Sirius saw a look of confusion pass over his face.

"Doesn't she live here?" he asked leaving Sirius unsure of what to say.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Remus waited until they were securely inside Dumbledore's office to ask her what was wrong. She had allowed him to lead her through the halls in silence, her thoughts filled with what Lucius had said and the possibility of him being right. It hurt just to think about the possibility.

"Hermione are you alright?" he repeated when she didn't originally respond.

She looked up at him, her eyes filled with unshed tears and showing all of her unexpressed fear before uttering no, and breaking into sobs. Never saying anything else, but clinging to him as if her were the last person on earth.

**A/N: The title means "_Nothing is more hostile than oneself against oneself." _**

**Thanks to my reviewers, ****Nynaeve80****Aljinon****Prof. M** **and ****connieewing****. I hope everyone liked this chapter. I'm pretty happy with it myself. I'll try to get the next chapter out soon but I can't promise anything. **

**I'd like everyone's opinions on whether they think the baby should be a boy or a girl. It'll be awhile before the time comes but just wanted to get people's opinions because I keep going back inforth in my head.**

**Please click the little button and review. It makes me smile. **


	11. Chapter Ten: Per Angusta in Augusta

**_Chapter Ten: Per Angusta in Augusta_**

When they made it home after the ball, Hermione went directly to her room with only a mumbled goodnight. The next morning she had been gone before Remus had woken up with a note that said she would be working late because Minerva had needed help with a project. It had been a lie and she had ended up asking Severus to let him use her labs to brew a potion that she really didn't need. She knew that when she got home Remus was going to ask about what had happened the night before and honestly, she didn't want to tell him.

It had hurt hear someone tell you all of your fears to your face. It was like a facing a Boggart. You know it not real, that it wasn't really happening, but you can't help but stay frozen in silence at the sight of it, forgetting that you banish it with just a few words.

Once she did get home that night they talked for a little about nothing important, but she could tell that he wanted to ask about the night before. The days continued like this, talking but not saying what either of them really wanted to. But as the days wore on she could tell he was getting frustrated with the lack of information and the fact that she changed the subject every time he brought it up. That it wasn't going to be long before he wouldn't have the self-restraint to keep from asking. And as always, she was right.

"Hermione, why won't you tell me what's wrong?" he asked.

"A lot of things are wrong with the world, Remus. Do you really want me to list them all?" she replied flippantly.

"No not really" he said with a small smile, "But that's not what I meant and you know it."

"I'm not telling you what's wrong because there _is_ nothing wrong." She said not meeting his eyes.

"Then why were you crying? Why did you want to leave the ball so suddenly? You were having fun, I know you were." He said stepping closer to her.

"Please just, tell me what happened." He said lifting her chin up so that she was forced to look at him. "What did Malfoy say?"

"Nothing!" she said quickly, wrenching her chin out of his grasp. "Nothing happened. I was overwhelmed with everything that was happening and I just kept thinking about Harry and Ron and what they would say. I over thought things and got upset, I do that sometimes, but that was all that happened. So please just stop acting stupid and making more out of it then there is."

"Hermione, you're lying. I know your lying." He said in an angry voice, "Why won't you tell me what's wrong?"

"Because." She said stubbornly.

"Because is not an answer, Hermione." He was yelling now.

She didn't understand why he had to push this. She didn't want to tell him what had really happened. Lucius had been throwing veiled insults about him and their relationship too. It hadn't been just her that he was criticizing. How could she tell him that people were condemning him over something that he had no control over? He was light in this whole mess, not the cause of it. If she could, she would protect him for a little bit longer about what people were saying. And then when everything did finally come out into the open, she would set the record straight. Or at least as straight as she was willing to make it.

"Maybe it isn't, but it's the closest thing your going to get, so just accept it already!" she snapped.

They were both yelling now and Sirius, who had been watching the argument, felt that it was time to intervene. "Maybe we should all just calm down." Sirius said announcing his presence.

"Sirius! When did you get here?" Hermione asked, her cheeks flushing at be caught fighting with Remus.

"Somewhere in-between you calling him stupid and him criticizing your choice in answers." He explained.

"Really, the two of you fight like an old married couple." He said more to himself but they both heard him and flushed.

"Good, now that I've managed to shut you both up," he said with a satisfied smirk. "Your going to listen to what I have to say."

"Now, Remus you should know better than to pressure Hermione into saying or doing anything that she doesn't want to. For one, she knows more hexes then either of us and she's as stubborn as Harry, which is a great feat by itself. The only thing you're going to get from her is possibly an injury. Besides, she is pregnant. You shouldn't yell at someone when there pregnant."

"And Hermione" he said shifting his attention away from Remus and on to her, "You should know that he's just trying to help and that he worried about you. He just doesn't want to see you hurt. And you should consider that before you start yelling at him, even if he yells first. Now, there's only a little time before Remus needs to take his wolfsbane potion, and go upstairs for his transformation, which is another reason he's a little testy. I for one would like to spend this time in peace, not in awkward silence because the two of you were fighting."

"So just stop acting stupid" he said mimicking Hermione's words, "And kiss and make up before I force you too magically."

"I'm sorry Hermione." Remus told her, "I shouldn't have yelled at you. Its just I saw you with Malfoy and I know you were upset over something. And I don't like to see you upset, not like that."

"I know Remus and I'm sorry too. I appreciate the concern and is nice to know that you care, but I already told you what happened." She said, "Please just accept it."

He looked reluctant be he told her okay and agreed to drop it. Her hopeful face was too much for him to say anything else.

---------------------------------

"I think I'm scared to know that these are the future leaders of wizarding world." Hermione said as she handed the stack of essays she had just finished grading to Professor Stone

"Yes apparently our futures depend on teenagers who couldn't spell Animagi to save their lives." He agreed causing her to laugh.

Daniel Stone had joined the staff last year as the Defense teacher. He was in his mid-thirties and fit in with the staff pretty well. Hermione liked him as a person but she couldn't help but feel a little bit of resentment towards him. A part of her knew that she hadn't been ready at the time to take over the Defense against the Dark Arts class, especially because it was one of the harder ones, but Dumbledore had promised her that she would be a professor soon and it had hurt when he had gone outside the school to get one instead of asking her. She had gotten over it, but there was still a touch of resentment there no matter how much she tried to deny it. Even now she sometimes she feared that she would be just an assistant forever.

"Hermione dear." Minerva said snapping her out of her thought of self-doubt.

"Oh, hello Minerva." She said with a smile, "I heard you had a very interesting class today."

"Yes, well. It seems as if six year boys' hormones are getting harder to control these days." She said shaking her head, "If you let them set too close to a pretty girl things start to explode."

"Yes, I remember Harry and Ron when we were in sixth year. That was Ron's Lavender phase. I remember having a strong dislike for her and getting disgusted every time I saw them together. Nothing ever exploded, though I did hex him rather badly once or twice…" She said causing Daniel, who was listening in to the conversation, to laugh. Minerva nodded her agreement before continuing.

"I actually came over because I was wondering if you could cover some of my classes." She said.

"Of course." Hermione said her smile growing larger. "You know I always like to help."

"What day would you want me to teach?" she asked pulling her planner out of her bag.

"It would actually be two days." Minerva told her, "The twentieth and the twenty-first."

Hermione's head snapped up from her planner at the date. She knew she couldn't teach on the thirteenth. The date in her planner was circled in red and there were notes all around the house reminding her why.

"Oh, I'm sorry," she told her, "I've already taken the twentieth off."

"Oh, well…"

"I'm sorry. Normally I would just change my schedule but I have a doctor's appointment and it's really hard to get an appointment with him and even harder to reschedule. I had to charm the receptionist just to get this appointment."

"Who is the healer?" Poppy asked having overheard the conversation. "I might know him and be able to convince him to change appointment times."

"Ummm…." Hermione wasn't sure what to say. She was going to the appointment for the baby. It would be a OB and she was afraid that they would put the pieces together if they knew the doctor's name.

"Actually I can't really remember his name." she said snapping her planner shut so that they wouldn't be able to read the name. "It was someone that Remus recommended…I wrote his name down somewhere…" It was too late before she realized her mistake.

"Remus?" Poppy asked as McGonagall raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, umm…somehow Remus and I got onto the subject at the ball and he gave me the name of a friend who works at St. Mungo's. I know I wrote his name down somewhere…" she said as she began digging in her bag, all the while hoping that the lie sounded more convincing then she thought it did.

"But if anything changes, I'll let you know." She said with a forced smile.

------------------------------------------

"Will you please stop pacing?" Hermione asked as she watched Remus walk up and down the hospital room. "You're making me nervous."

"Sorry." Remus said sheepishly as he sat down in the chair next to her.

"Its okay." She said patting his hand. "I'm just a little nervous. The healer was right, I should have seen a doctor more often then I have."

"I'm sure everything's fine." He told her, squeezing her hand reassuringly. "I've just never really liked hospitals. _They_ make me nervous, not the reason I'm here."

"Sorry that took so long." The healer said stepping into the room. "We're much busier then we predicted today."

"Its quite alright." Hermione said with a warm smile.

"Well everything checks out fine." She continued, "Both mother and baby are doing extremely well."

"Although you probably should come in more often then you have been." She said sternly causing Hermione to blush.

"But other then that everything looks very good." She said with a smile, "Now for the fun part. Would you like to know the sex of the baby?"

"Yes we wou-" Remus said quickly. Hermione moved quickly clamping a hand over his mouth.

"_Actually_, we would like it to be a surprise." She told the healer.

"What do you mean you want it to be a surprise?" Remus asked.

"I mean that I don't want to know." She said with a laugh, "I like the idea of it being a surprise."

"Are you sure?" he asked, "But what about when we start picking out names? Won't that make it difficult?"

"Will pick out a name for a boy and a girl." She told him with a large smile. He had said when_ we_ pick out the names. Not when _she_ picked out the names, but when they did, together.

"So that's a no then?" the healer asked smiling fondly at the two.

"Yes." Hermione told her quickly before Remus could protest.

---------------------------------

After they got done at St. Mungo's Hermione suggested that they walk around muggle London for awhile instead of going straight home. She had taken the entire day off from work for the appointment and wanted to enjoy her day of freedom. Remus enjoyed the day, not often being able to get to muggle London and getting to hear Hermione's stories about what it was like to live in the muggle world. She was so good at spells and so knowledgeable about the world that it was easy to forget that she hadn't grown up in that environment.

Hermione was in the middle of telling him a story of when her aunt had taken her Christmas shopping when she stopped mid-sentence, her eyes drifting to the window display they were next to. Remus followed her almost longing gaze to the window and then to the sign above it reading

_The Bouncing Baby Shop_

_Everything a mother and her baby will need. _

"Would you like to go inside and look around?" he asked putting a hand on her elbow to get her attention.

"I'm not sure." Hermione said shaking her head.

"Come on" he said moving his hand down to her own, "We can just look around a bit. Get an idea of what will need for the baby."

"Come on." He said pulling her towards the door, "It won't hurt."

"Can I help you?" A young saleswoman asked as they came through the door.

"No, were just looking." Remus told her.

"Okay." She said with a big smile. "Well, just so you know, upfront is all of the baby clothes. Boys clothes on the right, girls on the left. When you move a little further into the store, past the baby clothes, on the right is where we keep the toys and on the left is where we keep baby necessities, like blankets, diaper bags, bottles, and things like that. Then at the very back is where we keep the furniture, if your looking for a crib or a changing table, and on the other side is the maternity clothes."

"And from the looks of it you're probably going to need to get some of that." Her voice adapting the tone that people usually used when talking to a baby, as she put her hand on Hermione's growing stomach. Hermione had to fight the urge to go for her wand.

"Feel free to come and find me if you need any help." She said before bouncing off to another customer.

"I hate perky people." She muttered following Remus to a table of baby clothes.

"So, how are we supposed to know what colors the buy if we don't know if the baby's a boy or a girl?" he asked with a satisfied grin.

"We buy neutral colors, like yellow or green, with a few gender specific things mixed in." she explained, "They'll be plenty of time for more shopping after the baby is born."

"That actually makes sense." He said surprised.

"I actually have thought about this." She said with a laugh. "I want it to be a surprise, but you are welcome to guess about how you think it will turn out."

"Well, then I'm going to go look in the boy's section for Remus Jr." he told her with a smile.

She just laughed and turned back to the table of clothes, as he headed to the other side of the store. She picked out a couple of cute sweaters and oneies before heading further into the store. But as she wandered through the store she began to feel incredibly unprepared. A baby needed a crib, blankets, diapers, and so much more. She wasn't even sure where they were going to put the baby…

----------------------------

Hermione was still stressed about the lack of preparation she had made for baby as she looked through the maternity clothes. In her opinion most of the clothing was way too bright, she preferred colors that couldn't be seen several miles away. But she had managed to find a few things that she liked, and she knew that she would need them soon. Her stomach wasn't getting any smaller, and to be honest she didn't know how nobody noticed it. But she had the sneaky suspicion it was just them being polite and not saying anything, not because of her baggy robes had managed to hide the excess weight.

"You look like you have a lot there." A different saleswoman said coming up to her with a basket, "Would you like this?"

"Oh yes, thank you." She said taking the offered basket and quickly depositing her things into it.

"It looks like you might need another one for your husband though." The older woman said her eyes wandering to Remus, whose arms were full of clothing and toys.

"He's…" She was going to tell her that she wasn't her husband, but knowing the questions that it would ultimately bring up, she decided not to. "He's just excited."

"At least he's here. You'd be surprised at the number of single mothers or even the married ones that we see come in here alone. It's nice to see a father coming in." she said.

"If you don't mind me asking, how far along are you?" she asked turning back to Hermione.

"A little over five months."

"Over halfway there then." She said with a smile.

"Oh that's scary." Hermione said, never really considering that before.

"You'll do fine, I'm sure." She told her. "Especially with someone like him there for you." She said nodding in Remus direction. "Come find me if you need any help with anything."

"I will." Hermione told her with a smile. She much preferred this saleswoman to the last.

She turned back to the clothing rack only to see Remus coming in her direction, his arms loaded down while he tried not to drop anything.

"Did you leave anything over there for anyone else to buy?" she asked with a laugh.

"A few things" he said with a smile, dropping his pile into the basket. "But I've never shopped for a baby before, and I like all of it. I figured you could pick out what you liked." He looked so excited, she couldn't refuse.

"Okay." she told him, "Let's see what you picked out." He had managed to pick out some cute stuff. There were cute little onesies with matching hats, little jean overalls that would look cute on a boy or a girl, and a pair of pajamas with ducks all over them.

"These are adorable." She said holding them up. "Seems someone's a natural at this. Let's go with these, the overalls, the dark green onsie and that white frilly dress I see you hiding over there."

"I just figured that if it is a girl, she'll need something to wear." He told her with a sheepish smile.

"Not so positive its going to be a Remus Jr. anymore I see." She said with a smirk. She was spending too much time with Severus.

"Speaking of which," he said digging through his stuff, "I for one think this kid deserves a better name then Remus."

"So I found this." He said handing her a small but thick book.

"Baby names." She said with a large smile as she read the cover. "This could come in handy."

"I also found a stuffed dog that reminds me of Snuffles" he continued, "And an orange cat that bares a striking resemblance to Crookshanks."

"Thank you Remus." She said softly, as she clutched the stuffed cat.

"For what?"

"For picking out baby clothes and dealing with perky stomach-touching salesgirls when you don't have to." She told him with a smile while fighting back tears.

"There's no where else I'd rather be." He told her. He wasn't entirely sure what she was talking about or what had caused her to well up in tears, but he smiled reassuringly and squeezed her hand. He would be there for her as long as she would let him.

----------------------------------------

When they arrived home they found Sirius in the kitchen, waiting for them as he helped himself to some of the leftovers they had brought back from the restaurant the night before.

"Hey! That's our dinner tonight." Hermione told him swatting at his hand.

"Not to worry love" he told her taking another bite. "I'm here. I'll cook for you tonight."

"I'm not sure if I should be scared or grateful." Hermione said, "But I guess you can't be any worse then Remus."

"Hey!" Remus said depositing the bags on the table. "I've been lugging these bags around since two and this is the thanks I get."

"What you guys get?" Sirius said as he began pulling stuff our of the bags, without waiting for a response.

"Why do you have stuff in here for a boy and a girl?" he asked. "You're not having twins are you?" he asked his eyes getting wide.

"No, Sirius." She said rolling her eyes, "Its only one baby."

"So then why…"

"I don't want to know if it's a boy or a girl." She explained.

"Really?" he asked.

"Yes, I want it to be a surprise." She said with a laugh. "Is this like a wizard thing? Am I breaking some unwritten law that says that I need to find out the sex of the baby?"

"Of course not" Remus said, "Just in our very limited experience, the mothers usually want to find out."

"That's what Lilly did." Sirius said agreeing with Remus.

"Well I'd like it to be a surprise." She said, "I'll be happy with a boy or a girl and I'm not leaning towards either. However, Remus here thinks its going to be a girl."

"I said it was going to be a boy." He told her.

"Yeah, but the frilly little dress counteracted that statement." She said holding it up.

"Well if it's a girl, she's going to have us all wrapped around her little finger," Sirius said, "Just like her mother."

"And if it's a boy?" she asked him with a large smile.

"Then he'll probably be like his Uncle Remus, unless he's lucky and turns out like his Uncle Sirius."

"God help us all if he does." Hermione said with a smile, "One Sirius is enough, and I don't need to be responsible for bringing another into the world."

"Well if you're going to act like that I won't give you my present." He told her standing up.

"A present? What present?" she asked perking up at the possibilities.

"Hold on." He said before disappearing into the other room. When he came back he had a portable muggle CD player in his hands.

"Where did you get that?" she asked.

"When I was younger I used to love making my mother angry." He explained, "One of the ways I did that was blasting muggle music throughout the house. She absolutely hated it and punished me for even listening to it, but that just made me like it more. So I've stayed with it and it more like a hobby now."

"So you've brought the CD player for me because…?"

"No, not for you, for the baby." He explained moving closer to her.

"What do you mean?" she asked. He just smiled and took the headphones and wrapped them around her stomach.

"I read in one of those pregnancy books that the baby can hear things now and should be able to remember them after there born. They recognize voices and such, and I think this baby should have good taste in music, not that rubbish I know Remus listen too."

"This is possibly very sweet of you Sirius, thank you." She told him. "Of course it might make it difficult to walk."

"When did you read a pregnancy book?" Remus asked.

"When I was here a couple of weeks ago for your transformation. Hermione had already fallen asleep and I was bored. I found the book and other then a few disturbing images and the use of a few disturbing descriptions that I could have lived without, it was actually kind of interesting."

Hermione couldn't help but laugh. If anyone had told her a year ago that she'd be having this conversation with Sirius and Remus, while pregnant with headphones on her stomach she probably would have considered knocking them upside the head in hopes to get some sense in them. Of course she probably would of hit them too when they explained exactly how she would get herself into this situation.

It's funny how life works out. A few months ago, she considered Harry and Ron her best friends but now, now she added Remus to that list and honestly sometimes she wondered if Remus was higher up on the list now.

She loved Harry and Ron, she did. But she had been able to tell Remus things that she had never been able to tell them, that she never even considered telling them. He knew her better then they did, even after all the years she had been friends with them. He knew when to joke around and when to be serious. He knew she liked to sneak down to the kitchen and eat cake at midnight and would often be down there waiting for her when she got there. He asked questions that no one else had ever bothered asking.

She had never thought that she had been taking Remus for granted, but after what the saleswoman had said she felt like she was. There were women out there who had no one to help them. But she had been lucky enough to find Remus. He was there for her in a way that nobody else had been. She wanted to be that for him. She wanted to know him as well as Sirius did. As he did her. To be there for him when he needed her. To make him feel just as special and loved as he did her. To have him see her, the way that she saw him.

---------------------------------

**A/N: The titles means "_Through difficulties to great things." _Remus and the baby being the great things.**

**Thank you to all of my reviewers. I love you guys and I was thrilled to see all the reviews that I got. I'm really sorry about how long it took to get this out. I got horrible writer's block and started working on another story and got distracted. _Sorry._ But I actually pulled a couple things from the other story for this one, so it all worked out. **

**I know this may not have been the most exciting chapter but it leads up to other things and allows time to pass. Pretty soon angst will be coming out of the wazoo…whatever that is. **

**Nynaeve80** Thanks for the review! I find myself wishing the baby was Remus' too sometimes, but that would be a whole different story….

**katemburke33**: I'm glad you like the story, it's always nice to hear when someone does_. (hint hint to other readers)_ I like the idea of Hermione having him name the baby. I'm even considering working that in.

**AMistressMalfoy** I totally agree. I love a nasty Lucius. I have a bit of a habit of taking the ships that I like and putting those to characters into scenes in my stories even when there's no chance of them being a couple. That's a large part of why Lucius is in here and why I wrote the dance scene with Severus. It won't be too long before Bill finds out about the baby, but it may happen a little differently then everyone wants.

**foxdemon27**Thank you! I'm really glad you like the story. Especially the first chapter. I worked really hard on that and it's nice to know that you liked it. Hope you liked this chapter too!

**Cry of the Wolf Child** I'm glad that you like the story. I knew I had to explain Hermione's relationship with her parents because of the way that they reacted and I hoped that I did it justice. If you look in the books it never really tells you that much about her parents other then they were dentists. She doesn't really talk about them that much and maybe this is the reason why. They lover her and she loves them but sometimes your just too different. Not to say that I don't want to knock them upside the head, but it happens. It's at least my interpretation of it for this story anyways.

**connieewing** Thanks for the review and your opinion about the baby. That seems to be what people are leaning towards, but I'm still not sure. I guess will all just have to wait and see to find out.

**Aljinon:** I agree! If I was upset I'd want Remus there to comfort me too. I'm glad you like the way that the romance aspect of the relationship is developing. That's the part I'm the most worried about, so I like hearing peoples opinions and suggestions about it.

**Little Nadeshiko** Smile totally accomplished. Thank you so much for your review and all of the compliments. Sorry that I'm not updating as quick as I used to but the chapters are getting longer, most of the time anyways, and life seems to be repeatedly getting in the way. Stupid life. If it was up to me I could stay home and write all day, but its not and therefore it takes longer for the updates. The story _will_ be completed if I have anything to say about it, it might take a little while but it will.

**Kim:** Thanks for the review. They'll find out soon, I promise. It's actually just a few chapters away, or that's the plan anyway.

Thanks to **littlewerewolf** **Prof. M****Monnbeam**and anyone else that I might of accidentally missed, for reviewing.

**I'll try to get the next chapter out soon, but once again I can't promise anything. I'm going out of town and I don't think I'll have internet access. I'm going to Oklahoma. Woo Hoo! I know you can't hear me to be able to notice the sarcastic tone in my voice but its there and I'm sure you all can imagine. I'll try to work on the story so that I can post it when I get back, but like I said I can't promise anything. **

**Please click the little button and review. It makes me smile. Ideas, predictions, and suggestions are always welcome. But please don't be too mean. That makes me frown. **


	12. Chapter Eleven

**_Chapter Eleven: Evestigatus_**

After a very long day at Hogwarts, Hermione was absolutely thrilled to be going back home. She had been helping Flitwick with his classes today and he seemed to have errand after errand for her to run in-between classes, none of which that seemed that important, and the students hadn't been any better. She realized that it was a Monday and that almost all the students usually acted up the most on Mondays, but today was worse then normal. Two students had gotten into a fist fight and she had to take them magically to there head of houses, who weren't exactly thrilled with the interruption from there own classes. Five different students managed to cause explosions, and another student had snuck in one of Fred and George's fireworks. Flitwick and she had a terrible time banishing it, normally she would have been upset over the time wasted, but honestly now she was just tired and really wouldn't have minded if it wouldn't have taken so much energy to banish it.

Her feet ached, she was tired, the books she was carrying were much heavier then she remembered and all she wanted was a nice scone. "If I'm like this now, I can only imagine how I'll be once I'm further along." Hermione thought out loud, glancing down at her stomach. "It can't get much wor--" She had collided with someone, having not been paying attention, and sent all of their books flying across the floor.

"Oh I'm so sorry Daniel." She said looking over there many books.

"It's alright, Hermione." He said starting to gather his books together. Once she was sure that he wasn't looking she carefully shifted so that she could bend down to collect her own.

"Oh here, let me help you." He said noticing her struggle. He quickly put his own books back down before picking up a few of hers.

"_Great Wizarding Events of the Twentieth Century, Important Modern Magical Discoveries, Modern Magical History_ and _Sites of Historical Sorcery,_" He said reading off the titles as he collected them, "Either you really enjoy history or you're hoping to take over the History of Magic class. Sorry to break it to you Hermione, but I don't think that post is going to be open anytime soon."

"Actually it's neither." She told him, "Dumbledore's having me start to prepare some of the fifth years for there O.W.L.s. Right now we're focusing on History of Magic. Half the time students don't know what's going on in that class, let alone what will be expected of them on their O.W.L.s, that's where I come in."

"That's a good idea." Daniel said, "I could have used that when I took my own. You should have seen me, begging my friends to let me copy their notes so I could study them along with my own."

"When do you start?" he asked reaching for another book. Before she could stop him he picked up the book of baby names she had brought to look over on her break. He quickly read and reread the title before turning back to her with a surprised look on his face.

"So their goes asking you out." He said unsuccessfully trying to break the tension.

"Daniel…"

"You don't have to explain anything Hermione." He told her, "I have nothing against secrets."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Hermione hurried out of the fireplace looking around, trying to find Remus. He never did seem to be in the same place when she got home. "Remus!" She called not seeing him anywhere, "Remus are you here?"

She heard footsteps on the stairs and turned to see Remus coming down, his hair mused and his robes wrinkled. He had obviously been sleeping again.

"What's wrong Hermione?" he said quickly.

"You were sleeping in your robes again weren't you?" she asked avoiding the question, feeling foolish for waking him up over something like this. "How many times do I have to tell you not to do that?"

"It was purely accidental" he told her, "I feel asleep while reading. Now stop avoiding the question and tell me what's wrong."

"I ran into Daniel in the hall today."

"And?"

"No, I literally _ran_ into Daniel in the hall today." She repeated.

"Are you hurt?" he asked quickly coming over to her, his eyes wandering over her body searching to see if anything was injured. "Is the baby hurt? Is everything alright?"

"Oh yes, everything's fine." She said hurriedly, "We just dropped our books; I didn't mean to startle you. But Remus, he picked up the books. All of them."

"Hermione, I'm sorry but I'm not following." He told her gently, "What's so bad about him picking up the books? It's normally considered the polite thing to do."

"No Remus, I mean yes it was." She amended, "But he picked up the book of names, he _saw_ the book of baby names."

"Oh." He said finally realizing what she was talking about.

"You don't think he'd tell anyone, do you?" she asked panicked.

"I'm not sure." He said, "I've only met him once and that was very briefly. I didn't get the chance to really get to know what he was like. What do you think that he'll do?"

"I don't know." She said, "He was really sweet about it when he found out. He didn't even ask me to explain anything, he just accepted it."

"Then if I was to guess, I'd say you have nothing to worry about." He told her.

"Hermione?" he said after a pause. "Why are you so worried about what the staff or students are going to say? They've accepted you as a part of the staff. And even if they hadn't, it doesn't matter what they say."

"I guess, I guess that I've just been keeping this a secret for so long that it's scary to think about how they'll react. I know I'm making more out of it then I should, but…but once they know I can't take it back."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"How about Pierce?" he asked looking over his list.

"No." Hermione said quickly shaking her head, "He'd need a better last name then Granger to pull that off."

"How about Anastasia?" she asked.

"Doesn't that mean resurrection?" he asked.

"Oh yeah," she said, "Scratch that."

"How about Landon?" she asked.

"That's an option." He told him, "What does that mean?"

"Long hill." She said, "Not that great of a meaning, but a good name just the same."

"Add it to the list."

"What do you think Gabrielle?" she continued.

"I like it." He said, "We could call her Gabby if she's anything like her mother."

"Hey!" She said smacking him on the arm, "I don't talk that much."

"Of course you don't" he told her, but it was clear he didn't mean it. "What about Julian?"

"No I dated a Julian," she told him, "It didn't end well. No need to constantly remind myself of that. What about Adrianna?"

"That's a pretty name." he said. "What about Morgan?"

"No, I don't think that she'd be a Morgan." She said.

"Okay, how about Isabella?" he asked, "We could call her Belle, or Ella, or Issy. There would be a lot of nickname potential."

"Maybe" she said, "Definitely keep it on the list."

"What about Heath?" he asked.

"I knew a Health once" he continued, "A nice fellow, a bit odd but nice. I wonder what ever happened to him…"

Hermione stayed silent as he talked, only half listening to what he had to say, as she thought about the last name that she had written down on her list. She wasn't sure if he would like the idea or not, but Sirius and him both talked about her so much and so beautifully, that it had made her want to have met her even more then before. It was different when Harry talked about her, having never really known her. When he talked it was more about what he thought she would be, what he wanted her to be, but when Remus and Sirius talked you heard about the good and the bad. They would tell stories about how she used to yell at them whenever she caught them pulling pranks, how she was the only one who could ever put James in his place, how she stood up for Severus even when he was cruel to her, of how happy she was when she found out she was going to have Harry...She would be lucky if her baby was anything like her.

"What do you think about the name Lilly?" she asked him quietly.

"You mean naming the baby Lilly?" he asked.

"Well, yes." She said, "I've always loved the name. And…And well I've heard the way you and Sirius talk about Harry's mum. I've heard the stories from other Order members. She seems like the type that_ should_ be honored by having her name carried on."

"But if you don't like the idea we don't have to do it, its still just a consideration… nothing final." She said quickly.

"I like that idea Hermione." He said moving his hand on top of hers, smiling broadly.

"Good because I do to—Oomph."

"What? What's wrong?" he asked seeing her hand fly to her stomach.

"Nothing." She said with a smile, "But apparently she liked the idea too. She just decided to injure my bladder to show her approval."

"She kicked?" he asked, his face lighting up in delight, "Really?"

"Yeah, I guess so." She said. "Would you like to feel?"

"You wouldn't mind?" he asked.

"Of course not." She said moving his hand over her stomach, "Trust me; I can feel it enough from the inside."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"It's horribly hot in here." Hermione said as she lowered the heat from the fire under the caldron.

"It's a surprisingly comfortable temperature in here Hermione," Severus told her looking over her shoulder to see the potion, "Stop complaining."

"Easy for you to say." She mumbled removing her outer robe. She had worn a wool sweater today, because it was so cold outside, but now she was beginning to regret it.

"I'm fat." She said looking down at her stomach.

"You're pregnant." He corrected her.

"Either way I'm a house." She said stirring the potion.

"How does one become a house?" he asked her confused at the muggle reference. She laughed, happy that he at least wasn't agreeing with her.

"Did you put in the asphodel root yet?" He asked scowling at her.

"Two minutes ago, just like I was supposed too." Hermione told him with a smug smile.

"You are spending too much time with Lupin and Black." He told her, "Their arrogance is beginning to rub off on you."

"Really?" she asked, "That's an odd thing for you to say, considering that Sirius was telling me just the other day that I spend too much time with _you_, because I was beginning to pickup your habit of smirking. However, I don't think either of you mean it as a compliment."

"Add the lacewing flies Miss Granger." He said avoiding her comment and turning back to the papers on his desk.

Hermione heard the sounds of feet shuffling and chairs scraping as students began to fill the classroom a few minutes later. Seventh year classes were about to begin.

Slowly the normally quiet students, who had learned better then to talk in Snape's class even when he wasn't there, were whispering and talking among themselves. She shared a surprised look with Severus, though his was much harder to read, before looking up to see the students staring back at them. No, not them. _Her._ They were staring at her. She gave Severus another confused look but this time he wasn't looking at her, his gaze was on something behind her. She turned and followed his gaze to her robe on a nearby chair, cringing in realization. She had just revealed to room full of Seventh years that she was pregnant.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Stares and whispers followed her throughout the rest of the day, even after she had put her robe back on. Only about twenty students had actually seen her, but by the end of the day they all knew about it. Students at Hogwarts were never very good at keeping secrets from their friends.

Daniel had pulled her aside before lunch, to make sure that she knew that he wasn't the one who said anything. She just smiled and thanked him, telling him that it was her and her stupidity that landed her in this situation, not him. He gave her a reassuring smile and told her that everything would be okay as he walked her to class, saying that there was always safety in numbers.

Lunch was hard. Setting at the staff table gave her a much better view of all of the students who were talking about her, and it was not pleasant. Severus was next to her and from where she was setting she could clearly see Daniel who kept shooting her supportive smiles, so she felt a little more confident.

"I think we're low on lacewings flies, Hermione." He said, "Have you been keeping a record of how many you have been using?"

"Yes." She said shooting him a grateful smile for breaking the silence, "Its in your office, I'll show it to you after lunch."

It wasn't a vital conversation, or even that interesting of one, but it allowed her to take her mind off of the whispers and the rumors for at least that moment. The students weren't exactly subtle or quiet as they talked and even the teachers could be seen discussing it in hushed tones. So had even heard them talking about who the father was. Remus had been suggested on more then one occasion, along with Ron and Harry, despite the fact that he had Ginny, and she had even heard Trelawney talking about how she didn't even think that Hermione knew who the father was. She knew that they had never gotten along and that Trelawney had opposed her becoming a teacher's aid, saying that she didn't have the right outlook on life, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt. She didn't like Trelawney but she would never tell a fellow co-worker what she really thought of her, and the fact that she didn't even have that much respect for her hurt, more then she would have imagined.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Remus could tell something was wrong when she got home. She normally told him everything about her day, the good and the bad, but today when he asked she just told him that it was fine before going upstairs to change. She looked sad and almost defeated and yet she offered up no reason as to why.

"Hermione, what happened?" he asked setting down next to her.

"I did something stupid." She said not even trying to deny that something was wrong, as she normally did.

"What do you mean?" he asked gently.

"When I was helping Severus in potions today I took my work robes off because it was so warm with the caldrons. And then…and then I forgot to put them back on before the class came in, and now the entire school knows."

"What do you mean the entire school knows?" he asked.

"The students who saw told everyone." She continued, a tear trailing down her cheek, "And now there are rumors and whispers…Questions. And I haven't even come out and said whether they were right or wrong yet. I knew that I wouldn't be able to hide this much longer, but I thought I'd have a little more time… The idea of not being able to anymore…it, it scares me."

"Why?"

"Because its one thing to be here and know I'm going to have a baby. It's another to explain everything in front of the whole entire school." She said.

"Telling them makes it real." She continued, "Right now I can pretend that this is normal. That I'm not having _his_ baby, I'm just having mine. But the minute I tell them there's going to be questions and there going to be expecting answers. Answers I might not have, or not want to give."

"Why do I get the feeling you're not talking about the school anymore?" He asked already knowing the answer.

"Because I'm not," She said, "Not entirely anyway."

"Hermione, I know this is hard for you." He said taking her hand in his own.

"But you've said so yourself," he said placing an envelope in her extended hand, "You can't hide this forever."

Her name was written on the letter in Mrs. Weasley's familiar handwriting. She opened the letter slowly; almost afraid of what it might say.

_Dear Hermione, _

_It's been such a long time since we have seen you and we are all wondering how you've been. Ron said that you were at the Halloween ball at Hogwarts and that you got to talk there, but he said that you left early feeling sick. I do hope your okay dear; you know how I worry about you all. I especially worry about you; I don't want you working yourself to death. Remember you need to eat properly, and get enough sleep and remember to have a little fun. _

_The whole family agrees that we haven't seen you in the longest time and we were hoping that you could join us Christmas Eve. I've already invited Professor Lupin and Sirius, along with Tonks and a few other Order members you might remember; Charlie's even coming up from Romania for a few weeks. Please come, we'd love to have you there. You know we think of you as family, and it wouldn't be Christmas without you here too. _

_Molly Weasley_

"Sirius and I both got the same invitation." He told her quietly, setting back down beside her, "We'd really like it if you would go with us."

"I understand if you're not ready, or if you decide you want to keep this to yourself for just a little while longer, but Hermione what happened today, what happened in the hallway with Daniel, things like that our bound to happen again. No matter how much you'd like too, no matter how much I'd like to help you too, you can't conceal this much longer."

* * *

A/N: The title means _"Discovered"_

I hope you guys liked the chapter, I'm not really thrilled with it but parts of it needed to be written to allow other things to happen, so it was necessary. Oklahoma was fun for the most part, and I managed to write a couple chapters. I'll try to post them soon but they need a lot of editing as I was hopped up on cold medicine when I wrote them and I don't even understand what I was talking about in parts.

Please take careful notice to the names they were throwing back and forth, I would love to get your guys opinions them. What you liked, what you didn't, any ideas of your own. I'm pretty sure I know what the baby's going to be and I have my favorite for that, but that might change, so I'd love suggestions for both boys and girls.

Thank you to all my reviewers, I love you guys. It's always nice to see that I've gotten a review; I always get excited, it's not good for the people around me, who usually shoot me strange looks trying to figure out what's wrong with me, but I enjoy them.

**sUCH.a.pRETTY.bOAT**: Thank You Thank you thank you. I loved your review, it was so nice. You'll just have to wait and see about the red hair, but I will tell you this, hair color is not the only trait that you get from your parents.

**GabbyGal** I'm sorry I didn't mean to insult Oklahoma. I like Oklahoma, honestly. I just wasn't thrilled with going on the trip on the first place, hence the sarcasm. It was a family obligation kind of thing. But I had a nice time for the most part other then it was kinda cold and I _had_ a cold…

**Kim:** Thank you for your review, I really like your ideas of what you think is going to happen. At least one of them probably will be coming true pretty soon or at least play into the story soon anyways, and another one of your ideas keeps popping up in my head, so you might see one of them later on in the story too.

**Werewitch:** Thank you for reviewing! I'm glad that you like the story. I agree Hermione needed to realize what she had just a little bit more, she always knew she was lucky to have him there helping her, but she just needed a little extra help to show her what she wanted things to be like. You'll just have to wait and see about Bill.

**Nynaeve80** I'm glad you liked the chapter. I agree I thought Remus was really cute in the last chapter, it makes you want someone like him.

**Moony's Fire**I'm sorry about being mean and not telling you about the baby, but it's for the plotline. There's going to be something a little later on that involves not knowing what the baby's going to be. I'll try to make the next four months go by fast, especially because I'm not positive on how I'm going to fill all of that space, but no promises.

**Little Nadeshiko:** Thanks for the review; I'm really glad you liked the chapter. I was worried it was a little too fluffy, and then I decided the heck with it they deserved a little fluff after everything I've put them through and everything that I will in the future. But there are most definitely problems ahead. Many many problems.

**Cry of the Wolf Child**: Thank you for your review. I'm glad that you liked the story so much and that I got you to read at least one Hermione/Remus story out there. I'm picky but there are some good ones out there. I'm glad you liked the chapter and I hope you like this one too.

Thanks to **connieewing**and** Aljinon** who reviewed too.

Review please! It makes me smile.


	13. Chapter Twelve

**_Chapter Twelve: Factum est illud, fieri infectum non potest._**

Over the next few weeks Hermione spent a lot of time thinking about the Weasley's invitation. Going could mean finally facing her fears and finding out that there was nothing to fear in the first place._ Or,_ it could cause all of her fears to come true. Ever since she had agreed to go with Remus she couldn't think of anything else. During classes, at home, when they were out to dinner; somehow her thoughts always drifted back the Weasley's Christmas Eve party, and what would happen once she got there.

She had been hiding this from everyone for six months, from people who she called her best friends, from people she considered family, or better then family in her case. And she was what; just going to pop in on the grandparents to be that will never know that she's carrying their grandchild. Could she really tell her best friends that she didn't trust them enough to tell them what was going on? Was she really going to be able to face that much red hair and not think of Bill and what they had done? Was she really going to be able to look Mrs. Weasley in the eye and tell her that the father, her son, isn't in the picture?

She had wanted to talk about it with Remus, and she did vaguely, but she couldn't bring herself to tell him everything. She was _scared_ to tell him everything. He had held her as she cried. He knew everything and still looked at her the same way that he did when she showed up on his doorstep five months ago. He had loved her when she thought nobody else would. How could she tell him that she had not only slept with a married man, but she had slept with a married man's who family she had considered her own? That it wasn't a case of not knowing, it was a case of purposefully forgetting. Would he still look at her the same then? Would he still see the smartest girl to leave Hogwarts since Rowena Ravenclaw? Or would he see her as she really was, a stupid girl who just kept making mistake after mistake.

-------------------------

Remus knocked on Hermione's door softly before opening it the rest of the way when he got no response. He was surprised when he saw clothes scattered about, both wizard and muggle alike, with the occasion shoe mixed in. Hermione was always very neat and orderly with her clothing, leaving room for her to spread out her books and work, and it was very unlike her to just pile things up like she had.

"I don't know what to wear." She said looking over her wardrobe. "At first I thought I'd wear that nice muggle red dress I have but I forgot about how much I had grown, and it doesn't fit anymore. Then I thought I'd try the new green dress robes that I had gotten, thinking they were festive, but they didn't look right either. Then I was going to try pants and a sweater, but…"

"Hermione, everything's going to be alright." He said sidestepping piles of clothing to reach her. She was practically sobbing now but he didn't know why.

"No it's not." She said crying harder. "Remus I'm an unwed mother, who is unwilling to tell anybody who the father is." She said burying her face in his chest. "What are they going to think? What are they going to say?"

"They are going to tell you congratulations." he told her, "And Sirius and I will take care of anyone who doesn't."

"What if he's there Remus? What if he's there?" she sobbed into his chest.

"What if who's there Hermione?" he asked pulling away.

"What?" she asked, her eyes full of dread and panic because of what she had just let slip out.

"You asked what if he's there. Hermione, is there something that you're not telling me?"

"No." she said quickly. "I meant Harry and Ron." She knew it was unconvincing and that even she wouldn't have believed herself, but she couldn't tell him what she had really been talking about. Not when he was looking at her so kindly and so protectively. She couldn't loose that. This baby needed someone like him around.

"Harry and Ron love you Hermione." He told her, "You have nothing to worry about."

"Then why do I have this sinking feeling in my stomach that says that everything's going to go wrong?" she asked looking up at him.

--------------------------

"Sirius, why did you gather us all in here?" Harry asked with an exasperated sigh.

"More like force us all in here." Ron muttered angrily.

"Sorry" Sirius said with a sheepish smile, "I just need everyone in here; I have something important that I need everyone to hear."

"What's wrong?" Mrs. Weasley asked.

"Nothing…I think." Sirius said wringing his hands nervously, something he picked up from Hermione and all the fretting that she had been doing lately. "I've been asked to…to prepare you for a surprise."

"A surprise?" Tonks asked her eyes widening, "Like a present?"

"Not a present but I think that it's a wonderful gift." He told them, "She's just not exactly sure everyone will feel the same."

"She?" George asked.

"She who?" Fred asked.

"Remus…Remus is bringing a friend with him." he told them.

"A lady friend?" Charlie asked with a sly smile.

"Well yes and no." Sirius said, "She is a lady and she is his friend, but nothing more. Though sometimes I do wonder…"

"But that doesn't matter. Look she's…she's in a fragile state right now and she isn't going to take bad reactions to…to the situation." He said choosing him words very carefully. He was beginning to regret telling Hermione yes when she asked him to do this. He didn't know how to explain this without actually telling them everything, which she had forbid him from doing. He had told Hermione this, but she had battered her eyelashes at him and mentioned something about the baby while placing his hand on her stomach. It would have been hard for Voldemort himself to refuse.

"Look it took a lot of convincing to even get her to come tonight. I don't know everything, but she's been through a lot with dealing with others reactions. If you are upset in any way by what you find out, which you shouldn't be," he said sternly, "Then just make sure you handle the situation correctly. No shouting, no yelling, or anything else like that. If you're upset, then swallow it like a man and act calmly." There was no disagreeing with the fierceness or the protectiveness in his tone.

"If she's in such bad shape then why don't you tell us who she is and what's wrong with her?" Ron suggested.

"Because she wants to be the one to explain it to you herself."

--------------------------------

"Are you sure you're ready for this?" Remus asked as they neared the Burrow.

"No." Hermione said with a sad smile. "But it's too late to go back now isn't it. I'm sure Sirius has already made his speech. If both of us don't show up they'll put the pieces together anyways."

"I just want to make sure." He said, "I feel like I pushed you into this too soon. If you're not ready…"

"Remus, I'm never _really_ going to be ready for this. Whether I do it now, or five years from now with a little girl or boy at my side."

"Girl" he told her softly, "It'll be a girl."

"That's what I think too." She told him, her hand going to her stomach, "But you never now. They could surprise us and it could be a little boy in there."

"Do you think Harry will like the idea of naming her after his mother?" she asked quietly.

"Well there really is only one way to find out." He said nodding towards the house.

"I've been here so many times before." She said, "But I have never found it quite this scary."

"Really?" he asked with a slight chuckle. "I was always slightly afraid of going in. Molly always seemed to narrow in on me and me alone and try to feed me enough for ten men…Molly can be as frightening as Voldemort when she decides that you need help and she's just the one to make you better."

"I think we've all been there." she said with a small smile.

"Then come on." He said taking her hand, "We don't want to make them wait too long or else they'll send out a search party."

It was the longest walk Hermione could ever remember. It reminded her of her first day at Hogwarts, walking up to the Sorting Hat. She was once again waiting to be judged, a response that could change her life forever, there would be no turning back the moment she stepped into the house. But she hadn't been sorted in Gryffindor house for nothing; she took a deep breath before following Remus in.

--------------------------------

The room had gone silent when they had noticed Remus arrival, all of them curious of who his surprise guest may be. It had been discussed, though quietly so that Sirius wouldn't hear, but no one could put there finger on who they thought it could be. Sirius description had been vague and he was no help when they asked him anymore questions, he just looked uncomfortable and told them that they'd find out soon enough.

Hermione took another deep breath before stepping out from behind Remus, turning so that her large stomach was visible for everyone to see. "Hi." She said quietly.

Fred and George's jaws dropped simultaneously. Harry's eyes went wide and Ron had to set down.

Mr. Weasley's face had quickly changed into a shocked look before a large but confused smile took over. Percy kept cleaning his glasses to make sure that he was seeing correctly, as Penelope smiled broadly beside him.

"Oh. Oh my goodness." Mrs. Weasley said before scurrying her to her, enveloping her into hug, careful to mind her stomach, with tears in her eyes. She was quickly followed by Ginny, who had a large knowing smile on her face as if she had known all along, and then Tonks who looked as if she was still in shock, but a happy shock, and Penelope who still looked the calmest out of everyone.

"Oh you look so beautiful." Mrs. Weasley said as she led her over to a chair.

"Positively glowing." Penelope said with a smile.

"Do you need to set down?" Ginny asked.

"Do your feet hurt? Aren't pregnant women's feet supposed to hurt?" Tonks asked.

"Oh this is so exciting!" Ginny said.

"How far along are you?" Penelope asked.

"Why didn't you tell us sooner? I would have gotten you a present." Ginny said.

"Are you hungry, dear?" Mrs. Weasley asked.

"She can only answer one question at a time." Remus told them, knowing that all of there questions must be overwhelming her, who he was sure was still trying to get her head around the fact that they had accepted it without questioning why she hadn't chosen to tell them sooner.

"Oh, of course" Mrs. Weasley said, "I'm sorry dear. We're just so surprised. But happy of course."

"It's okay." Hermione told her with a reassuring smile. She was just glad they were still talking to her. "Thank you for the compliments but trust me I don't feel beautiful. Nothing fits anymore and I can barely see my feet let alone tell you if they hurt. And I don't need any presents, Ginny. And, no, I'm not very hungry right now, but thank you."

"Did I miss any questions?" she asked.

"How far along are you?" Mrs. Weasley repeated with a smile.

"About six and a half months." She said quietly. Hermione's head snapped around, along with everyone else's, as they heard the sound of breaking china. Bill had dropped his glass at hearing the date, a shocked look upon his face that quickly disappeared when he noticed everyone looking his way.

"Sorry mum." He said quickly casting a _repairo _spell.

Everyone was busy looking curiously at Bill, wondering about his odd behavior, except Remus who was too busy looking at Hermione, who was carefully avoiding looking anywhere near Bill.

* * *

A/N: The title means "_Done is done, it cannot be made undone."_

I hope you guys like this chapter, I've had it written in my head for a while but it did come out a little differently on paper.

Thank you to everyone who reviewed. It always makes me smile. I don't have a lot of time to post this so I can't respond to people individually like I normally do, but I figured I clarify a couple of things that people keep bringing up.

Remus is **_not_** going to pretend to be the father, even though a large part of me wants him to too. Hermione doesn't want to give that responsibility to anyone. She is content, at least for now, with just keeping the identity a secret from everyone, including Remus. Whether it stays that way or not, I can not tell you. That could ruin the story. Or could it???

Also, I have chosen the sex of the baby but no one, other then me will know until the baby is born, which is still a few chapters away (she's not _that _far along). I had to make a decision quickly so that it would fit in with the story, but remember just because the character's think one way doesn't make it true.

Another thing people keep bringing up is red hair. Just remember that your hair color isn't the only trait that you get from your parents, there are many other things to remember.

I'll be happy to answer any other questions when I have more time, I just wanted to get this posted while I had the chance.

Please review!!! It makes me happy!


	14. Chapter Thirteen

**_Chapter Thirteen: _**

**_Accipere Quam Facere Praestat Injuriam_**

Hermione watched as Bill quickly left the room, his ears red and bewilderment clear on his face, before quickly turning her attention back to the rest of the family setting across from her.

"When did…Wha-- H-h-how did this happen?" George stuttered.

"Well I already told you when. I don't really think there's a what. And well, as for the how, I would have thought your mother would have explained that to you already." Hermione told him with a forced laugh. She was trying to focus on George but all she could see was his red hair and how much his smile reminded her of Bill's.

"Well I guess this explains why we haven't seen you for awhile." Ginny said setting down across from her. Hermione quickly blinked away her thoughts and tried to focus on Ginny, her hair was much darker then Bill's. "Unless there's something else you'd like to tell us." Ginny suggested, her eyes wandering over to where Remus sat beside her.

"Umm…I don't know." Hermione she said looking to Remus and Sirius for help. She knew what she didn't want to tell them, she didn't know what she _wanted_ to tell them.

"I didn't even know you had a boyfriend…" George continued confused. Hermione closed her eyes and breathed deeply waiting for the question she knew everyone was thinking about to come.

"Umm…Hermione? Can Ron and I talk to you?" She heard Harry ask, "Just for a minute."

"Yeah." Hermione said softly. It wasn't the question she had been expecting, but it wasn't any less difficult.

------------------------

She followed Harry and Ron into the small office that Mr. Weasley had recently added. He had been collecting a lot more muggle artifacts and he needed a place to keep them so that Mrs. Weasley would stop threatening to throw them all away.

Hermione quickly cleaned off a chair as Harry and Ron did the same. Anything to help her ignore just how loud the silence was. Harry and Ron watched her awkwardly set down, guarding her stomach from unseen evils.

"Please just say something." She told them, "I can't stand all the quiet."

"Sorry Mione" Harry said, "I'm just, we're _both_ just surprised. Even with Sirius' warning I never…It's a really big shock Hermione."

"Trust me, I know what you mean." Hermione told him. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you guys sooner."

"Why didn't you?" Ron asked her.

"I…I had some things that I had to work through." She told him, her hand subconsciously moved to her aunt's ring, hoping that it would give her the courage to get her through this conversation.

"You-Your engaged." Ron stuttered, his eyes going wide as they followed her hand.

"No, no it's my aunt's ring." She told him quickly dropping her hands. "I'm not…there's no one to…The father isn't in the picture."

"What?" Harry demanded, "You mean he didn't take responsibility?"

"Give us his name." Ron told her, "Will make sure he takes responsibility."

"Guys no." she told them firmly. She couldn't help but wonder if they would be this determined if they knew who he really was.

"There are some…_complications_ with his involvement." She explained carefully, "I've accepted it, you need to too."

"Who is he Hermione?" Harry asked gently.

"Harry…"

"Who is he?" he asked again.

"He's…He's a man, who I made a mutual mistake with six months ago, and that's all you need to know."

"Why won't you tell us who the father is?" Ron asked heatedly. His words were angry but his eyes showed that he was hurt.

"Hermione, it can't be that bad." Harry told her when she didn't respond, "It's not going to change anything."

"What if the baby was Malfoy's or Severus'?" she asked harshly. She didn't understand why they wouldn't just let this go. She couldn't tell them that it was Bill. She_ wouldn't_ tell them that. It was hard enough to tell them that she was having a baby; she couldn't imagine having to tell them that too. "Would you look at me differently then?"

"Sin-since when did you start using his first name?" Harry stuttered.

"We work together." She said, "I am allowed to call him by his name, just like I call all of the other teachers by there's."

"Is it his?" Ron choked out.

"No" she said fighting back tears, "But I think I made my point. It _does_ matter who the father is. And I don't want you judging this baby because of something that wasn't its fault."

"Hermione…"

"He isn't a bad guy Harry." she told him, "Its nothing like that. He's just…he's not going to be involved. But he doesn't have to be. I have Remus and I have Sirius and hopefully I have the two of you…"

"Of course you have us." Harry told her taking her hand in his own. "You always have us."

"Why didn't you tell us about this sooner?" Ron asked.

"Ron…"

"Did you not trust us or something?" His voice was softer this time. Not angry, just hurt and confused.

"Of course I trust you." She told him quickly. "You know that I'd trust the both of you with my life. I _have_ trusted you both with my life."

"Then why did you go to Remus instead of us?" He asked, "We're supposed to be your best friends."

"You are!" she insisted. "But Ron, you have to realize when I went to my parents, who were supposed to love me unquestionably, they rejected me, told me to leave. I needed to go to someone who I new wouldn't judge me. Who wouldn't ask questions..."

"Hermione we would of-"

"Tried." She finished for him, "But right now the two of you are at a point in your life where I can't be your top priority, and I shouldn't be. Being an Auror is a full time job, where your on call at all hours, and Harry your planning a wedding right now. You barely have time to see your fiancé let alone help me. I didn't think either you needed me adding extra stress to your lives."

"But it was okay to add stress to Remus' life?" Ron asked.

"I guess I'm not explaining this correctly." She told them, "When the war was going on, there were always three people that I knew I could always depend on, the two of you and Remus. We didn't have the relationship like we have now, but when the two of you were off on some mission that I wasn't able to get to, he was there. He was the one that could convince me that everything was going to be okay. He knew what to say to calm me down. That was what I needed right then."

"When I found out I was pregnant I was in denial." She said beginning to play with her ring again. "I took ten different tests because I was always so sure that the one before it was wrong. It took someone finding me throwing up in the bathroom to convince me to tell someone. And I did. I told my parents who told me they wanted nothing to do with me or this baby, and I was absolutely heartbroken, thinking that everyone would react the way they did, including the two of you."

"I understand now, that you love me no matter what," She said with a watery smile, "But then I was looking at things differently. I was upset, pregnant and alone. And I needed someone who could tell me that everything was going to be okay, and I'd believe them. Even if it was just for that one night, I needed that to be said. And as much as the both of you would have tried, would have wanted to help, you couldn't have done what he did."

"He's been there. He's stayed while I've pushed him away, he's held me while I cried, he's told me that this wasn't a mistake, that it was a miracle. He's gone to doctor's appointments with me, he's helping me pick out names…He's what I needed and I know that may not be what you wanted to hear, but it's the truth.

"I love you both, you know that, but this was hard for me. This _is_ hard for me. When it got out at school there was whispering and pointing. There were looks and little comments. _She's not married, but she's going to have a baby. She's not telling anyone who the father is. I bet she doesn't even know who the father is. _I pretend not to hear them but I do. Students and even some of the staff members. You walk into a room and suddenly it goes quiet...I need someone there at the end of the day to help me work everything out. As much as you may have wanted to, neither of you can be that for me."

Harry nodded in understanding. He knew what it was like to hold a secret that you were scared to let everyone know. To seek comfort from someone that others wouldn't expect you to go to. During the war he had often gone to Ginny to talk. She was always there, making no judgments about what he did, but always offering advice of what to do next or to go hex someone for him. Sometimes you really did just need someone to say everything's going to be okay.

"Hermione, I wish you would have come to us sooner" Harry told her softly. "But I get it, I really do. I just want you to remember that now that we know, were here for you, whatever you need."

"Yeah." Ron said placing his hand over hers, "I can't say how much help I'll be with the whole baby thing, but I'm here if you need me."

--------------------------------------

Remus gazed around the room trying to get his mind off of Hermione. Penelope and Mrs. Weasley were in the kitchen cleaning up dinner, occasionally calling for Mr. Weasley, who was talking with Sirius and Charlie down the table, to help with something. Fred and George were at the other end of the table talking quietly, there heads bent together. Normally he would just have thought they were just working on a new invention for the Joke Shop but there serious faces led him to believe otherwise. He wouldn't be surprised if it was about Hermione. Bill had made his way into the corner and was unusually quiet. He was trying his best not to think about why.

Remus quickly moved his gaze to the closed door that he knew Hermione was behind in hopes to distract himself. He knew that Harry would be able to accept the news, but he was worried about how Ron would react. He had still been in shock when he had left the room; he hated to think about how he would react when he came out of it.

"Their fine." Ginny said putting a cup of coffee in front of him.

"What?" he asked snapping back to reality.

"Their fine." She repeated with a smile, "Harry will hit Ron if he says anything stupid and Ron will do the same to Harry. And Hermione will hex them both if she finds it necessary."

"I know…" He began. He did know that. Harry and Ron loved Hermione; they were the two most important people in her life. There was just a part of him that wished he was in there too. That he was on the list of the most important people in Hermione's life.

"You're taking this rather well." He pointed out.

"Well I knew something was off at the Halloween Ball." She said taking her seat from across from him. "I just didn't know what."

"I never would have guessed this" she said with a laugh, "But I don't know. When your Fred and George are your brothers, and Harry Potter is your fiancé, you just get used to the surprises."

"So how long have you two known?" Charlie asked setting across from Sirius who had taken the place to the left of Remus.

"Umm…about four and a half months." Remus said into his coffee mug.

"That long?" Charlie asked surprised.

"To be fair I found out by accident." Sirius said, "It was either tell me, or I would go on thinking Hermione and Remus were sleeping together."

"SIRIUS!" Hermione said coming into the room.

"What?" He asked innocently, "It was the truth."

"I'll go get you some tea." Ginny said with a laugh standing up. "Or would you rater have tea?"

"Get her water." Remus said pulling out a chair for her. "Coffee isn't good for the baby."

"Yeah, well it's good for the mummy." Hermione told him, "It keeps her awake."

"Yeah, well their not the ones that has to deal with a hyper Hermione." He told her playfully.

"The only thing scarier then a hyper Hermione is a determined Hermione." Harry said teasingly.

"Ah, you have yet to see pregnant mood swing Hermione." Sirius said with a smile.

"If you all don't shut up, you're going to see violent Hermione pretty soon." She told them with a smile. If they were smiling and laughing it meant that they were closer to accepting everything. That was all she really wanted.

"Personally, I want to hear the story that goes along with what Sirius was saying." Charlie said with a smile. "Is there something the two of you would like to tell us?"

"No." Hermione said blushing; she knew what he was implying.

"Where are you going Hermione?" Harry asked as she stood up, trying to avoid further questioning. She could handle anything except that one question and she knew it was coming.

"I just have to use the bathroom." she lied.

---------------------------

She took a few deep calming breaths before leaving the bathroom. Everything was going well so far. Everyone was accepting of it, confused by it, but accepting of it. And she was happy with that. The only problem was Bill. Was the broken dish a coincidence? Or did he do the math and put two and two together? And if he had, what was he going to do about it? Taking another deep breath and telling herself to just forget about Bill for tonight, she continued down the hall.

"'ermione!"

Hermione's head snapped up at the familiar French accent.

"Fleur" she said, the color draining from her face as she tried to remain calm.

"'ermione, I am so 'appy to see you." She told her with a large smile. "Beel told me about the baby downstairs."

Hermione choked on air. "W-wh-what?" she stuttered. He couldn't possibly of….

"'e told me that you are 'aving a baby. I am so 'appy for you. Zook at you. You are so big." Hermione wasn't sure that she meant that as a compliment, but she would of happily accepted a full out insult as long as she didn't know about what happened between her and Bill.

"Thank you." She said quietly.

"You must ze so exzited" she continued.

"I am." She said avoiding her gaze. What do you say when talking to the wife of the man that got you pregnant?

"I am sorry." She said, "I am just so exzited and 'urious. Beel and I are zinking of 'aving a baby of our own."

"What?"

"Yes, I know. I am exzited 'oo" she continued, not even noticing Hermione's change in demeanor, or the distress in her eyes. "Beel says zhat 'e wants five children. I dizagree. One or two will be just fine with me. But I want one soon. Maybe zhen ours and yours can play together, yes?"

"Yeah, maybe they can." Hermione said trying to keep her voice steady.

"I should be getting back to Beel" she said with a smile, "I just wanted to come and 'alk to you. I will zee you later downstairs, right?"

"Of course." Hermione said forcing a smile. "I'll be back down in a minute."

"Okay" Fleur said before turning, with more grace then she could ever hope to have, and going downstairs.

Hermione blindly felt for the nearest door handle as the tears she had been holding back finally broke free, causing everything to blur. She opened the nearest door and hurried into the room. Closing the door behind her, she slowly slid down the door, as silent sobs racked her body.

"How did I manage to get here?" She asked placing her hand protectively over her stomach. "How could I have done this?"

Tears continued to come as she thought about the mess she had made out of not just her life, but Bills and Fleur's, and so many others. She had planned to keep Bill out of this. She always had. If not for his own sake, then for Fleur's but she had never really thought it through. This baby, her baby, could have a brother or a sister out there soon. Would she never tell them that? They would have loving and caring family that they wouldn't realize really _was_ their family. Could she really live with a lie this big for the rest of her life?

"I have too." She reminded herself. And she would. She would just have to grin and bare it. She had made her mind up a long time ago not to involve him in this. She had people who would love and care for her and the baby both. She had Remus. And she didn't need anything else. She would make up for Bill not being there. She would have too.

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Hermione wiped at her eyes as she came out of George and Fred's room. She had stayed upstairs too long already. She knew that at least Remus would be wondering where she was, if not a lot more people. She wasn't really paying attention, as she knew the Burrow almost as well as she knew her own childhood home, and bumped into someone. Strong arms steadied her and she looked up to see familiar blue eyes staring back at her.

"Bill!" she said quickly stepping away from him. She could still vividly remember the last time that his hands had been on her.

"You alright?" he asked hesitantly.

"Yeah" she said trying to keep her breathing even. She had just calmed herself down and Bill's presence was only upsetting her again.

"You sure?" he asked. It was clear he wasn't just talking about her stumbling.

"Actually I'm not feeling very well." She said.

"Do you need anything?" he asked her.

"No." she said quickly. She didn't need anything from him, and she was content to keep it that way. "I'm fine. I'm just…going to go find Remus, so he can take me home."

"Remus, yeah…okay." He said stepping over so she could get through. She could see that there was a lot more that he wanted to say, but it was obvious neither of them were ready to talk about it. They had agreed that morning to try their best to forget what had happened and move on with there lives. Unfortunately that hadn't worked too well for her.

"Thanks" She told him softly. She quickly moved around him and hurried down the stairs.

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Hermione found Remus in the kitchen talking quietly with Mr. and Mrs. Weasley. Normally she would have been curious to know what they were talking about, but at the moment she honestly wouldn't of cared if they were talking about Voldemort coming back to life, just as long as they weren't talking about her.

"I'm sorry" she said coming up next to Remus. "Can I talk to Remus for a moment?"

"Of course." Mrs. Weasley said with a smile. "I should be starting with the dishes anyway."

"Thank you." She said taking Remus hand and leading him to the other side of the kitchen. She didn't think that Mr. and Mrs. Weasley would purposely try to overhear what they were saying, but it was a small kitchen and she didn't want to have to deal with the questions if they did.

"What's wrong Hermione?" He asked. Her eyes were red and her mascara smugged. He had an idea of why but he didn't want to suggest it.

"Nothing." She said shaking her head, "I'm just getting kind of tired, and I don't know, I think all the excitement's getting to me. It's been a really long day…Do you think you can just take me home? Please?"

"Of course." He told her with a reassuring smile. Maybe he was wrong about the reason she was upset. Maybe it didn't have anything to do with Bill. Maybe it was just the excitement of the day that was upsetting her. He was probably just making something out of nothing. Or at least he hoped he was.

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**A/N: The title means _"Its better to suffer an injustice than to do an injustice." _**

**Sorry that it took a while to update. Major writer's block with this chapter. I knew what I wanted to happen, but it just wouldn't come out. I'm still not entirely happy with it but I wanted to get it posted. I hope you all liked this chapter. And I hoped that it kind of explained why she went to Remus instead of someone else. There was a reason behind it other then I just wanted to make it a Remus and Hermione story.**

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. I still stand behind the fact that I think you're all the best reviewers. I think I replied to everyone except Kim, ****Aljinon**** and katemburke33, because well, I couldn't but thank you all for your reviews. I'm really glad that you all like the story. And Kate, thank you for saying that it's your favorite Remus/Hermione fic, it means a lot. If I forgot to reply, feel free to yell at me. **

**Please review. It always makes me happy. **


	15. Chapter Fourteen: Omnium Rerum

**_Chapter Fourteen: Omnium Rerum Principia Parva Sunt._**

Hermione stumbled through the fireplace and into the living room, still in a daze. Everything that happened at the Weasley's had just been too much for her to handle. She had been prepared for Harry and Ron, but she hadn't been prepared enough for Bill and Fleur. She didn't think she would ever be prepared enough for that.

A moment later she heard the fireplace flare up and she felt Remus' presence behind her. He continued to stand there for a few minutes, knowing that she was upset but unsure of why and what to do to help her.

"Are you okay Hermione?" he asked her.

"Of course Remus, why wouldn't I be?" she asked forcing another smile and turning around. He could tell the smile was wasn't real and that she was just trying to make him happy.

"I've got a surprise for you." He said suddenly taking her hand.

"A surprise?" she asked skeptically.

"Yes a surprise, now close your eyes." He said moving behind her and putting his hands over her eyes. She shivered at the contact but hoped that he didn't notice it.

"Come along." He said leading her up the stairs, "Now be careful."

"Do you really think it's a good idea to lead a pregnant woman around the house blindly?" she asked him with a small laugh.

"Don't worry, I've got you." He said softly from behind her.

She felt him stop shortly after, and shift so that he could open a nearby door. Normally she knew every inch of this house and would know exactly where she was but he had made so many sudden turns and spins that it had been confusing. "Okay, keep your eyes closed." He said as he led her further into the room.

"Do I really have an option?" she asked.

"Okay open your eyes." He told her. As he lifted his hands he revealed a beautiful nursery. There were two huge windows, each with its own window seat that he must have added by magic. He had even charmed the ceiling to look like the nights sky. It had everything that she and the baby would need, a crib, a changing table, a beautiful handcrafted rocking chair.

"Remus…" she said breathlessly. She couldn't believe that he had done this.

"It's yellow so that it a boy and a girl would be happy here. You're welcome to change the color if you like…" he explained quickly. He had spent a lot of time trying to figure out what Hermione would want and he just hoped that she wouldn't think that he had overstepped a boundary by not consulting her before doing it. He knew if he had even brought up the idea of helping to pay for the nursery he knew she would have refused.

"Remus, thank you so much." She said turning and hugging him closely. "You didn't have to, I mean I never expected…"

"It wasn't just me." He said smiling down at her, "Sirius helped pay for most of it. I just came up with the idea and what to put in it."

"Thank you so much." She said looking up at him; her eyes full of love and admiration, something that he had never expected to see her there.

"Like I said your welcome to change anything that you don't like. It is your nursery after all." He said quickly moving away from her to the other side of the room. He wasn't sure what that look meant but he knew he needed to think about it when Hermione wasn't in the room. He would be much less likely to do something stupid.

"And everything's returnable, we made sure of that." He continued, "So if you don't like anything then…"

"Remus, I love it." She said interrupting him. "I never expected anything like this."

"You deserve it Hermione." He told her, "This and so much more."

"This is going to make my gift seem horrible." She said looking down at her feet.

"I'm sure yours is wonderful." He told her, "Besides you didn't have Sirius willing to pay for yours. You shouldn't be expecting another gift from him by the way. We were actually supposed to show you together…"

"Then why didn't you wait?" she asked curious.

"You seemed upset. I just wanted to see you smiling again."

"I'm fine Remus, I promise." She told him with a large smile. This time it was a real one.

"How'd Harry and Ron take the news?" he asked her softly.

"Harry took it better then Ron, but I think that might be because Ron and I dated. He's always acted weird around my dates, even when he's been in a serious relationship of his own. I think…I think that seeing me there, pregnant, was a really big shock to him." she explained, "But they were supportive and they seemed like they were getting used to the idea by the end of the night."

"So they weren't the problem?" he asked.

"No, no of course not." She said, "I was just…I just got tired. There were a lot of questions and I don't know….I'm happy that they all know I'm just…not entirely ready to answer all of there questions."

"There's nothing wrong with that." He told her. "Now why don't you go get some sleep?"

"Thank you Remus." She said embracing him again and burying her head in his chest

quickly enveloping him in another hug, "For everything."

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When Hermione woke up the next morning she felt better than she had felt in days. She had been so worried about Harry and Ron these last few days that she had barely been able to sleep, but last night, despite everything that had happened, she fell asleep feeling happy and secure in the fact that she and this baby were both loved and cared for.

She picked her robe off the chair and quickly put it on before going downstairs. She knew that she had already gotten her Christmas gift the night before, as she didn't expect her parents to send her anything, but she had always loved Christmas. Everyone was always I high spirits and so happy, that she couldn't help but feel happy too.

When she reached the kitchen Sirius and Remus were already there, drinking there tea. "Why don't you just move in Sirius?" she asked with a laugh, "It would make the commute easier."

"Yeah but two men and a pretty woman living in one house…people would talk." He said with a grin.

"Yes, they would say why is a smart girl like that, living with Sirius Black of all people?" she shot back.

"Is that how you treat someone who got you a wonderful Christmas gift?" he asked her.

"I almost forgot about that." She said setting down between them.

"Thank you Sirius." She said giving him a quick kiss on the cheek causing a slight blush to appear on his cheeks, "It was really sweet of you both."

"Well I'm glad that you liked it." He said with a large smile, "I wasn't sure about the yellow, but Remus knew you would like it."

"And he was right." She said flashing a smile towards Remus, "I did."

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"You know no matter how may times you do it I can't help but be surprised when you cook something this good." Hermione said grabbing another waffle, "I think Remus and I should reconsider you as roommate material."

"Well I can tell you like them." He said, "What is that your, fifth one?"

"It's only my fourth, thank you very much" she told him, "And I'm eating for two, what's your excuse?"

"Good point." He said helping himself to another.

"So Remus, what's planned for the day?" Sirius asked.

"Well at some point I plan to give you both your gifts." She told them.

"Any hints to what these gifts may be?" Remus asked with a smile.

"I guess you'll just have to wait and find out." She said.

There was a loud pop in the other room and they turned to see Harry and Ron standing in the doorway each holding a bundle of gifts.

"Harry! Ron! What are you doing here?" Hermione asked.

"We thought since it was Christmas we come over." Ron said with a large smile, "Ginny would have come over too but she didn't want to overwhelm you. She did however send the message that she would be stopping by soon. So you have been warned."

"I hope you don't mind us just popping in." Harry said, "We were suppose to land outside, I guess we were just nervous."

"It's quite alright, Harry." Remus said with a smile. "Here let me help you with those." He said quickly taking some of the packages out of Harry and Ron's hands. "The Christmas tree's in here."

"Wow!" Ron said as he entered the living room, "That's a lot of decorations."

"Yeah…I think I went a bit overboard with the decorating." Hermione said from behind them, "But I like it, it's festive."

"I'm rather fond of it." Remus said with a smile.

"Much better than what Remus normally puts up." Sirius told them.

"What does it normally look like?" Ron asked.

"A wreath on the door and a shabby looking tree." Sirius and Hermione said in unison, earning them each a strange look from Harry. It was still strange to see her so close to Remus and Sirius. It didn't seem like that long ago it was the two of them talking in unison. Everything was so different now.

"Remus never really was that good at decorating." Sirius said.

"That's not true; he did a lovely job on the nursery." Hermione said causing Remus to blush slightly.

"The nursery?" Ron asked.

"Remus and Sirius were overly kind to me this Christmas, and gave me a nursery with everything that I and the baby will need."

"Everything?" Harry asked surprised.

"Well almost everything at least." Hermione said with a large smile, "I didn't get much of a chance to look through it before Remus was ushering me off to bed."

"Trust me we got her almost everything at the store. I even bought the baby a broomstick for when they get older." Sirius told them.

"Really? What model?" Ron asked.

"The best money can buy. Only the finest for my little niece or nephew, got to make sure they like Uncle Sirius the best."

"Would you like to see it?" Remus asked.

"Yeah." Ron said. He was halfway up the stairs before he realized Harry wasn't following him. "Coming Harry?"

"Umm…actually I want to talk to Hermione for a minute." He said, "You guys go ahead, we'll be there in a minute."

Harry watched the three men climb up the stairs and out of view with a smile on his face, but smile disappeared as soon as he knew they couldn't see him. He had begun pacing up and down the room while muttering to himself.

"Harry? Harry are you alright?" She asked.

"Is it Malfoy?" he finally blurted out.

"What?" she asked still confused.

"Is Malfoy the father?"

"W-wh-what?" she stuttered. She couldn't believe he thought that.

"Well you were dancing with Lucius at the Ball…"

"It would have been rude to refuse." She said, "He's on the school board of governors. If he wanted to he could have me fired."

"Well okay, but you weren't there, Malfoy sauntered over to the table and he started making all these innuendoes about you and his father. Trust me it was really hard to hold both Ron and Ginny off from hexing him…or hitting him, in Ron's case."

"Harry that was just Malfoy being Malfoy."

"And then you show up at the Weasley's pregnant. Pregnant! And not willing to tell us who the father is. What am I suppose to think?"

"That I had enough sense to not sleep with Lucius Malfoy!" She told him. "Harry…I know this is a lot to take in and that you just want answers. But…but_ he_ doesn't even know. I'm not going tell you."

"I understand." He said, "I wish you would but I understand."

"Harry….why didn't you ask me about this before?" she asked him.

"Well I figured one of us had to be the calm one." He said, "And I knew the moment I brought it up Ron would get upset and start yelling. I didn't think that was fair to you. Especially because I didn't know what your answer was going to be…"

"Harry the only similarities between Lucius and the father have is that they both have long hair and he's slightly older then me, but not as much as Lucius."

"You always did have a thing for older men." He said with a smile. Neither of them realized just how right he was.

"Yes, and you always had a thing for girls that liked to push you around. That's how you ended up with Ginny." She shot back at him with a large grin.

"You seem different Hermione." He told her suddenly serious.

"You mean fatter." She said pulling a face.

"No, happier."

"That's because I am." She said.

"But how? Why? This should be one of the most difficult things to deal with and yet you seem to be perfectly fine with it."

"I have my ups and downs Harry but I don't know...Right now, for once in a long time, I feel safe. Like nothing bad is going to happen. These last few years I've been living like a monster is going to jump out from under my bed at any moment. I don't feel like that's going to happen anymore. And I know that even if it did, there's someone in the next room that would help me get rid of it."

"Hermione I never knew you felt that way. If I had known…"

"Harry I'm not blaming you for anything. You've had to deal with much more than I ever have. I'm just finally in a place in my life where I'm happy. I'm going to have a baby, and everyone knows it now. I may not have my parents but I have people that mean the world to me, you and Ginny included. I have people who love me despite the things I've done in the past. There will always be skeletons in my closet but when Remus is around it seems like none of that matters…"

"Remus?" Harry asked.

"What?" she asked.

"You said when Remus was around." Harry said, "Hermione is there something you're not telling me?"

"Hey do you have any of those waffles left?" Ron said coming back into the kitchen.

"I think there might be one or two." She told him, happy to be interrupted. She didn't know what Harry meant by his question but she knew she was ready for her answer. None of them were. "Help yourself."

Hermione spent the rest of there visit trying not to think about Harry's questions.

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_****_A/n: The chapter title means "Everything has a small beginning." I'm really sorry this took so long to get out with you. The holidays were crazy and then my computer decided to crash. It's all better now except the "n" key doesn't work anymore, which may I say does cause some problems. You never realize just how much you use the "n" key until you have to repeatedly copy and paste it. Hopefully that will be fixed soon. Thank you so much for all your reviews, I'm over the 100 mark and I couldn't be happier. I'm gonna try to respond to you all as soon as possible, but have a lot of work from classes and life is just kind of crazy right now. I probably shouldn't have taken the time to write this but I felt bad about not posting for so long. I know this chapter didn't wrap up everything from the last chapter but that's what more chapters are for. _**

_**Please Please review! It makes me happy.**_


	16. Chapter 15: Cum Tacent, Clamant

**_Chapter Fifteen: Cum Tacent, Clamant_**

"How long will you be gone?" Remus asked flipping through the mail.

"Probably most of the day." Hermione said as she searched for her sweater, "Ginny wants to make sure that everything's just perfect in the apartment. I'm sure it looks fine but Ginny will probably find something that she thinks needs fixing and will use me as an excuse to go shopping."

"Just make sure that you don't stay standing for too long." He told her, "It's not good for you or the baby."

"I think after almost eight months I know that by now." She said with a smile. "I'm just glad Dumbledore convinced me to go on maternity leave early. I can't even find my sweater, let alone chase first years around with this thing getting in the way."

"I'm sure you would be fine, but it probably is better that you're not working." He said picking her sweater up off the ground.

"Probably." She said carefully putting it on. "So what are you up today?"

"Well Sirius is going to drop by and we thought we'd head over to the Three Broomsticks with Harry. He has the day off of work and Ginny said that she didn't want him bothering the two of you, so really he has no place else to go."

"Well that sounds like fun." She said, "Would you like to trade plans with me?"

"I thought you were looking forward to spending time with Ginny." He said, "You kept saying that you spend too much time with men."

"I am looking forward to seeing Ginny." Hermione said, "I'm just not looking forward to the questions. Ginny can be relentless when she wants to find something out."

"I'm sure everything will be fine." He told her with a comforting smile.

"Yeah, I'm sure your right." She said.

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"Ginny! Ginny!" Hermione called coming out of the fireplace. "Ginny you invited me here, shouldn't you be here too."

"In here!" she heard Ginny call from the next room. It was a decent size apartment, almost as big as Remus' and hers house, but she guessed she really shouldn't have expected anything else, Harry could afford the best. As she made her way toward the direction she had heard the voice, she could see Ginny in almost everything, but you could also see Harry. They really did make the perfect couple.

"Ginny it's really not nice to make a very large pregnant woman go in search of you." She called. "Where are—"

"SURPRISE!"

To say Hermione was surprised was an understatement. She was absolutely floored. She had never expected anyone to throw her a baby shower, especially Ginny. They had only talked twice since she had found out that Hermione was pregnant and they had both been Floo calls. She had never expected this.

"Wh-wha-what? When did…How did you…"

"Aren't you happy?" Ginny asked hurrying over. "I mean this is okay, right?"

"Of course I'm happy." Hermione told her, "I'm just incredibly shocked. I didn't expect this; I just thought that we were going to go shopping or something."

"Well I aim to please." Ginny said ushering her further into the room so that she could see everyone. Mrs. Weasley was there along with Tonks, Penelope and Angelina. Minerva and Poppy were both there, with large smiles on there faces. Hermione was pretty sure that they had added a little something special to their punch. She had even invited Mrs. Nelson, the elderly woman that lived down the street from her and Remus, and Luna.

"I can't believe you did this Ginny." She said with a large smile. She could tell Ginny had put a lot of work into this. The decorations were beautiful but simple with both blue and pink all around. Mrs. Weasley was had out done herself with the amount of food that she had made, and there was a beautiful cake that made Hermione feel more like she was getting married then having a baby. She could feel tears coming to her eyes. Stupid hormones.

"Oh don't cry!" Ginny said.

"I'm sorry I just…I'm happy…and the hormones are making me…and I can't believe you did this Gin." Hermione said.

"Hermione you're going to make me cry." Ginny said.

"Well you already made me cry, so it's only fair. This is why I spend so much time with men, if they make you cry you can hit them." She said making Ginny laugh.

The moment was interrupted by a large pop and then someone asking why everyone was crying in a familiar French accent. Hermione whipped around to see that Fleur standing in the doorway and her heart dropped. Her mood changing from crying happily to distressed. This time it was the hormones.

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"Sorry I'm late." Remus said setting down at the table, "I was helping Hermione find her shoes and didn't realize what time it was."

"She lost her shoes?" Harry asked.

"Just the one pair." Remus said with a smile, "But she wanted to wear them and she was having a difficult time looking for them because…well because of her size. Just don't tell her I said that was why."

"She is getting big." Sirius said with a laugh, "Are we sure its not twins?"

"Let's hope not." Remus said.

"Do you think she'll like the baby-shower?" Harry asked.

"I think she will but you can never tell." Remus said.

"What do you mean?"

"Hormones." Sirius said, "Nothings scarier then a woman with unbalanced hormones."

"Just wait until you have to go through it with Ginny." Remus told him.

Remus and Sirius continued talking but Harry stayed silent. Had Remus just compared his and Hermione's relationship to what he had with Ginny? What exactly was going on between the two of them? He couldn't help but feel like he was loosing his best friend, and he wasn't sure if he was ready to let her go.

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Hermione kept staring at Fleur. She tried not to; she did everything to distract herself, she even let everyone play the party game where they guessed her weight. But every time she thought she was okay, she would look at Fleur and suddenly be filled with this sense of dread and guilt. She had done the worst thing possible to this woman and she didn't even know it. She had changed her life and she couldn't even get up the courage to tell her. What a fine example for this baby she would be.

"Hermione are you okay?" Ginny asked nudging her shoulder.

"Of course." Hermione said flashing her a smile, "I'm just a little tired, it comes with the pregnancy. But I'm having fun, I promise."

"Did you like your gifts?" Ginny asked.

"I love them." Hermione said. Mrs. Weasley had knitted her several baby blankets and booties. Angelina and Penelope had gone in together and gotten her a stroller that was charmed to hold as many things as needed and could change to fit as many kids as possible, Penelope had told her that that way she could start on more kids anytime now and still have room, Hermione wasn't sure how much she liked that idea at the moment, but she smiled anyways. Tonks had gotten her a bag full of clothing for the baby, including a t-shirt that said 'my mummy's hotter then your mummy' that had made them all laugh.

"Harry told me that you already had most of the stuff you would need because of Remus and Sirius." Ginny explained, "Otherwise you would have gotten a lot more. I still can't believe that they did that."

"You're telling me. I was absolutely floored when Remus showed it to me; I never expected anything like that." Hermione said, "But then again Remus does know what my paycheck looks like so that probably had something to do with it."

"Still it was very sweet of Remus." Mrs. Weasley said handing her a glass of punch.

"Speaking of Remus" Penelope said with a sly smile, "What exactly is there going on between the two of you."

"Excuse me?" Hermione asked swallowing her punch. People should not ask questions like that when you were drinking.

"Oh come on." Angelina said, "Give us something. Your living with our former professor, you have to tell us something."

"I'm living with him, I'm not _living with him_." she said, "It's not like that."

"So zhere izn't a ittle Lupin in zhere?" Fleur asked with a smile.

"No, just a Granger." She said forcing a smile, "Trust me, I would have happily told you if it was Remus."

"You know I think its time for games." Ginny spoke up. She could tell Hermione was upset. She knew Hermione didn't want to tell anyone who the father was, and while the curiosity was killing her, she respected her decision not to tell anyone. Harry had told her that the father wasn't in the picture, he had given an explanation as to why and she didn't think that he even really knew. She could only imagine how hard it must be on Hermione to have to face on her own.

"Games? What kind of games?" Hermione asked skeptically.

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"I think I'm going to go get another butterbeer." Remus said quickly standing up, "Do either of you want one?"

"I'll take one." Sirius said.

"Me too." Harry said.

"I'll be right back." He said before hurrying off to the bar.

"Harry what are you doing?" Sirius asked rounding on him.

"Nothing."

"Harry, subtly is not your thing." Sirius told him, "Your acting like a father who just met his daughter's fiancé for the first time. What's the matter with you?"

"I'm not doing anything Sirius." Harry said, but he didn't sound convincing to even himself.

"Harry, he left to get the butterbeers to get away from you" he told him, "And I can't blame him really. If it was me who you were questioning then I would have sneaked out just to get away from you too."

"I didn't mean anything by it." Harry said, "I just…I was talking to Hermione on Christmas and she said something…"

"You're going to have to give me more than that." Sirius said.

"She said that everything was okay as long as Remus was there." Harry said.

"What do mean?"

"That's just it, I don't know!" Harry said frustrated, "And I never had the chance to ask her because Ron came down asking about waffles."

"I do make a good waffle."

"That's not the point Sirius."

"Then what is the point, Harry?" Sirius asked, "Do you think Remus is the father, because I can guarantee he's not."

"No, I don't think he's the father I just…"

"You just?"

"Sirius you spend a lot of time with them both, what is there relationship like?"

"I don't know similar to hers and with you and Ron I guess."

"Similar to my relationship with her, or to her relationship with Ron?" Harry asked.

"I don't really know, why?" he asked.

"Because she fell in love with Ron." Harry said

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"Remus, I'm home!" Hermione called coming through the fireplace. It had been a long day and all she really wanted was a nice cup of tea and someone who wasn't going to talk about the baby for at least fifteen minutes.

"Hello there. How was the baby-shower?" Remus asked coming into the living-room.

"So you knew about it?" she asked.

"That depends." He said taking her bags from her.

"On what?" she asked.

"On whether or not you liked the baby-shower." He told her.

"I did." She said with a smile, "I'm just a little tired."

"I'm glad you had fun. Would you like some tea?"

"I'd love some." She said setting down on the couch and kicking her shoes off. For setting most of the day, her feet were killing her.

"I'll be right back." He said flashing her a smile before heading into the kitchen.

Hermione was happy to be home. Fleur had been one of the last people to leave the shower, she kept asking question after question about the pregnancy. It had been so draining on her to have to set there and pretend like nothing was wrong, that she had nothing to hide from her, and the constant reminder that things were only going to get harder as the baby got older. With her luck, she'd want to date one of the other Weasley kids. There's one explanation she wasn't looking forward to.

"Hermione?" Remus asked.

"Yeah." Hermione said turning around to see that he wasn't there alone. George was standing there next to him.

"Hey George, what are you doing here?" she asked.

"I needed to talk to you." He said.

"Well why didn't you say something at the baby shower? Trust me; I would have been more than happy to get away for a few minutes."

"I don't think this is a conversation we should have in front of a lot of people." He said glancing at Remus.

"I'm going to be upstairs." Remus said setting a cup of tea in front of her. He could take a hint. "Just call if you need me."

"Thank you Remus." She said with a small smile. She didn't know for sure what George wanted to talk about, but she was didn't think she was going to like it.

"Hermione…"

"George…." She said mimicking him.

"Maybe I should set down." He said setting down on the couch next to her.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine." He said, "Maybe I should just come out and say this. The direct approach usually seems to work for me…"

"Hermione, I'm pretty sure I know who the father is." He told her quickly.

"I'm sure you might think you do, but—"

"Its Bill isn't it?" All the color drained out of Hermione's face. He wasn't supposed to know that. No one was supposed to know that, ever.

"W-wh-what?" she stuttered.

"Hermione its okay, calm down." He said placing a comforting hand on her shoulder, "Fred and I are the only ones that know about it and we aren't going to tell anyone."

"How do…I mean…does he?"

"No, not that I know of at least, we just put the pieces together. We were at the Harry and Ginny's engagement party, we saw you dancing. And then there was his reaction at the Christmas party when you said how far along you were. Your reaction to him, you couldn't even look him in the eye. I saw you with Fleur; I could see it in your eyes when she kept talking about it. We already had are suspicions but what Fred and I saw today when we stopped by the baby shower confirmed it."

"I didn't mean for it to happen." She said fighting back tears, "I'm so sorry."

"Hey, hey, don't cry." He told her, "I'm not here to tell you what to do, or to yell at you, or anything like that. We just wanted you to know that you had another two people who know, who are on your side."

"Actually, you're the only two people who know." She said softly.

"What?"

"I haven't told anyone." She said.

"Hermione you have to tell people. You have to tell him." he said, "He needs to take responsibility for what he did to you."

"He didn't do anything to me George." She said, "Or at least not that I didn't want him too."

"That's a little more information then I needed."

"I didn't mean it like that." She said with a small smile. Leave it to George to make her laugh when all she really wanted to do was cry.

"George you can't tell anyone." She said quickly turning serious. "If it was just me that would get hurt, that would be one thing, but Bill has Fleur, this would kill her. I can't do that to her. She doesn't deserve that, no one does."

"And what happens when the baby comes out with red hair or blue eyes?" he asked, "What are you going to do then?"

"Lie." She said, "Do what I have to. I can't tell them, it would hurt too many people."

"Then use me!" he said standing up.

"What?"

"You can use me as your escape goat. Tell them that I'm the father."

"I can't do that to you George."

"Why not? I'm perfectly willingly. I always wanted kids, this way I'd just get one sooner. He can grow up to run the joke shop. And it would answer everyone's questions. We'll just tell people that I freaked out at first, but that I'm over it now. Mum would be mad at me for a little while but then she just be happy she was finally getting a grandkid and she'd forget all about it. And that part wouldn't be a lie."

"Yeah, but your not the father and that _is_ a lie. George this is an incredibly sweet but I can't make you have a child that isn't yours. Do you know how difficult that will make your life? Think about all the questions that everyone would have. Think about everyone would say. Not to mention how angry your family would be at you. This was _my _bad choice. _I_ have to live with the consequences, not you."

"But—"

"George, this isn't up for discussion."

"Okay." He said with a smile, "I get it. But if you need anything or you just want to talk to someone who knows about…him, then just come find me or George."

"You know I underestimate you sometimes." She said with a watery smile, "I'm sorry I do that."

"Don't think about it love." He said pinching her cheek, "Your family to us, you always have been. And while we may tease family mercilessly, we also make sure that there taken care of. It's the Weasley way."

------------------------

What could George possibly want to talk to Hermione about? The question kept running over and over in Remus' mind as he paced the length of his room. George hadn't told him anything other then he needed to speak with Hermione when he came in. He hadn't looked like his normal humorous self; in fact he had looked rather nervous. What was there to be nervous about? In this stage of her pregnancy Hermione was much slower on her wand draw.

Remus continued pacing several more minutes. He had tried to read when he had first come up here but he hadn't even finished the first paragraph when he started to wonder about what they were doing down there. He didn't know what George wanted to talk about and he didn't like not knowing. He knew that he couldn't ask Hermione, he didn't want to upset her or make her feel uncomfortable. If she had wanted him to know everything then he would know everything. He couldn't make her tell him anything that she didn't want to tell him. But the wolf in him kept telling him to go downstairs and make George leave. He was doing his best to ignore the voice but he couldn't help but want to just give in and listen to it.

He heard the door downstairs close and he slowly made his way downstairs. "Is it okay if I come down?" he called.

"Yeah." Hermione said turning around.

"Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, George just…had a couple of questions. Everything's fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure." Hermione said.

-----------------------

When George returned to the Burrow that night for dinner he was still replaying the conversation he had with Hermione in his head. She had been so adamant about not telling Fleur, about not telling Bill for there sake, but he wondered if she had thought about her own. Having a baby was hard enough when you were married and had your family's support, but to do it with none of that, to keep it from the father. It took a strong woman just to attempt that. He only hoped she was strong enough to succeed in it.

"Hello!" he called coming in the back door. When he had stopped by the baby shower earlier his mother had invited him to dinner saying that they didn't see nearly enough of him anymore.

"We're in here." He heard Fred call. He found them in the living room, Bill and Ron playing wizarding chess with Ron by the fireplace with Fred watching closely.

As George entered the room his eyes never left Bill. He couldn't believe that he could just set there after what he had done? How could he face his wife each day? How could have not even acknowledged Hermione at the Christmas Party when he had slept with her? When he had gotten her pregnant?

"I can't believe you've been at this for almost an hour." Fred said. "I don't think either of you are ever going to win."

"Yeah, Bill here's even slower at deciding what piece to move then Mione." Ron said with a laugh, "I didn't think that was possible."

"Yeah well I've seen Hermione and I rather like her method of playing." Bill said with a laugh.

That was all George could take. It was one thing for him to not even acknowledge her. To pretend that nothing had never happened. But to joke about her. To say her name like it meant nothing? It was too much after seeing her crying on the couch, begging him not to tell anyone for _his_ sake. Before anyone had even realized that he had entered the room he had strode over to Bill, his fists clenched, stopping right in front of him before hitting him right across the face.

"The only reason that I'm not telling anyone is because of her. Not you, her and only her." He told him. "If it was anyone else, then I would make sure that everyone knew what you did."

"George I don't—"

"Think, think real hard." George said, "And I'm pretty sure you know what I mean. Own up to what you did Bill. She may not be willing to make you, but I am."

George quickly swept out of the room leaving behind a bewildered Ron, and Bill, who just had everything he feared to be true confirmed.

**_

* * *

_****_A/n: The chapter means "When they remain silent, they cry out." _**


	17. Chapter Sixteen

**_Chapter Sixteen_**

"Hello!" Harry called as he stepped through the fireplace. "Anyone home?"

"I'll be down in a minute!" He heard Hermione call from upstairs, "Remus and Sirius are in the kitchen."

"Hello Harry." Remus said as he entered the kitchen, "Would you like some tea?"

"No I'm fine." Harry said sending a glare in Remus direction. He wasn't trying to be openly mean but both Sirius picked up on it, he knew him too well not to. Sirius wasn't sure what Remus had done but he could tell that he was now on the boy's bad side.

"Are you sure?" Remus asked, "Hermione can take awhile to get ready. You might be waiting here for a long time."

"I'm sure I'll be fine." Harry said, "_I_ know Hermione, she doesn't normally take that long."

"Well normally no," Remus said, "But the stomach does add a bit to the trouble. She's a bit slower these days, I'm sure you'll find out today when you're with her." Nobody could miss the glare that Harry sent him this time.

"So where are you taking her?" Sirius asked.

"Well when we were talking last she mentioned that she hadn't been to Diagon Ally for awhile, so I figured I'd take her there."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Remus asked.

"Why wouldn't it be?" Harry asked obviously aggravated.

"Well it involves a lot of walking…" Remus said.

"And well, Hermione can't get around as much as she used to." Sirius continued for him. He could tell Remus was trying not to make Harry any angrier at him. "I think Remus just means to make sure she doesn't over do it."

"Yes," Remus said quickly, "Like maybe just lunch and then a trip to the bookstore, but not much more. We don't want the baby to come early."

"Early? What do you mean early?"

"To much stress is bad for the baby Harry." Remus explained, "And that could cause the baby to come early, which could lead to other complications. I'm not saying that that will happen but you just have to be careful."

"Of course." Harry said, "I'll make sure nothing happens."

"I'm sure you will." Remus said.

"Has anyone seen my cloak?" Hermione asked coming into the kitchen.

"Which one?" Remus asked.

"The extremely large black one. The only one that will fit over this." She said pointing at her stomach.

"You look beautiful love." Remus said going over to the closet to search for her cloak.

"No, I look fat." She said, "You know this whole baby thing is highly unfair. If a man has sex nothing happens to him. If a woman has sex then this is what happens. All of you had had sex and none of you are fat. Why is that?"

"That's because we all remembered the use of a contraceptive charm." Sirius said with a grin. He loved to tease her, especially when he knew that she couldn't hex him for it.

"You just wait until I can hex you again." She said, "You just wait."

"Why can't you hex him now? Not that you should." Harry added seeing the look Sirius was giving him.

"This far along in the pregnancy, it begins to mess with your magic." She said, "Last week I tried to hex him and I ended up shooting flowers at him. Not even close to what I was trying to do."

"I was rather thankful for that." Sirius said, "I was pretty sure she was going to remove a certain part of the body."

"I'm pretty sure he's right." Remus said with a chuckle coming up beside her. "Here's your cloak."

"Thank you Remus." She said with a smile, "At least I can count on one of you."

"Hey, what did I do?" Harry asked.

"You can't get pregnant." She said.

"That's not my fault." He said.

"So you mean that if you had the option you would?"

"Well…um, err…what?"

"There's no right answer for that Harry." Sirius said.

"Men." Hermione muttered making her way into the living-room towards the fireplace.

"Just watch what you say and nod your head a lot." Sirius told him, seeing that scared look on Harry's face. Hermione was hard to deal with when she was pregnant and upset.

"Don't worry, you'll do fine." Remus said, "And just remember to do what Sirius said. She can pick even the smallest of sentence apart and somehow you end up having both feet in your mouth."

------------------------------

"So I was thinking we'd get lunch here." Harry said looking around the Leaky Caldron. "That is if it's okay with you."

"Of course Harry, why wouldn't it be?" she asked.

"I don't know…I just wanted to make sure, that's all." He said. He found a booth in the far corner and placed a hand on the small of her back leading over there. He could feel people's eyes on them. He was still the boy-who-lived, no matter how old he was and people were still fascinated with him, years after he had fulfilled his destiny. He could only imagine the things they were coming up with as they saw him with a pregnant woman who wasn't his well know fiancé.

"Sorry." Hermione said as they sat down.

"What are you sorry about?" he asked.

"The last thing you need is to have everyone thinking that you're the father." She said, "You already have enough of that at Hogwarts."

"At Hogwarts? Really?" he asked.

"Yeah, there are a lot of names floating around there. Yours, Ron's, Remus', Daniel's…and I think I even heard someone mention Oliver, which is odd considering that I haven't seen him for almost a two years."

"Remus?" Harry asked.

"Well I do live with him Harry." She said with a small smile, "I'm sure if people knew how much time Sirius spends there he'd be on the list too."

"Yeah, I guess so." He said, though it was clear he didn't like either suggestion.

"Harry, it's alright." Hermione said with a smile, "It comes with the territory. I'm single and going to have a baby. Its only natural that people wonder who the father is, you do, Remus' does, Sirius has all but asked me…"

"And you haven't told anyone?" Harry asked.

"I haven't told anyone." She lied as her mind flashed to the other night when she was talking with George. She had been thinking more and more about that lately. If Bill's own family was accepting of her, then others would have to be. Remus would be. She was still hesitant to tell him but there was voice in the back of her head telling her that after everything that he had done for her, he deserved to know. That if anyone deserved to be the first to know it was him, not George. But at the same time she could just picture his face if the conversation went the opposite way. Because she knew that it was one thing to know that father was married, to know that she had made a mistake but it was different to know who he was, to know exactly what she had done.

But then she'd see him smile. She heard him tell her that she was beautiful when she felt ugly and fat. And she was filled with guilt. How could she keep something this big, this important from him? It might even be nice to have someone else know. Keeping his identity secret was so draining on her and having someone there, that wouldn't talk about it but knew about it, could only help her. Having him there for her, knowing everything could only make things better.

She would just have to make sure that he was calm whenever he saw Bill, and that he didn't do anything irrational. The last thing she needed was something like that happening.

"Hermione? Hermione are you alright?" Harry asked snapping her out of her thoughts.

"What? Oh yes of course, I'm sorry Harry I just spaced for a moment."

"Its okay, I just wanted to make sure you were okay." He said with a smile, "You'll tell me if you're not, right?"

"Of course Harry." She said.

---------------------------

"Was it just me or did Harry seem to be acting a bit…strange when he was here?" Remus asked handing Sirius a butterbeer.

"Strange is not the word I'd choose to describe him." Sirius said, "More like openly hostile."

"Yeah, well…what did we do?"

"_We_ did nothing." He said, "You on the other hand."

"Me? What did I do? I've barely seen him lately."

"And if I remember correctly he was acting the same way the last time you saw him too." Sirius said.

"Well yes he was…but I just thought he was having a bad day." Remus said, "What did I do to get him angry with me?"

"It's not really one thing in specific." Sirius said.

"So he just doesn't like me in general? Thank you Sirius that makes me feel much better."

"No, no that's not what I meant." Sirius said shaking his head, "Harry…Well Harry's picked up on a few things."

"Sirius I'm not following, so just spit it out already." Remus said.

"Harry thinks that you and Hermione….that there's something there." he said.

"What do you mean?" Remus asked.

"He thinks that you're in love." Sirius said. Remus almost choked on his butterbeer.

"I beg your pardon."

"Look anyone can tell that you and Hermione are close. I mean its only natural, the two of you are friends, you live together, you're helping her get ready for the baby, I mean if you weren't so close it would be strange. But…there's a certain vibe the two of you give off that…that leads you to believe that there's something more there then just friendship."

"I don't know what you're talking about but there's not. There's no vibe, there's no nothing."

"Just because you're in denial doesn't mean the rest of us can't see it mate." Sirius said with a grin.

"Sirius she's pregnant, with another man's baby. Even if I did have those feelings for her, not that I do-"

"Of course not."

"I wouldn't stand a chance." Remus said.

"You have more of a chance then you think." Sirius said.

"What?"

"Remus, she's not with that man she's with you." Sirius said.

"Sirius…"

"All I'm saying is that you might not be as far away as you think."

--------------------------

Remus couldn't get Sirius' words out of his head long after he had left. Deep down he had realized along time ago that his thoughts weren't always just friendly. He had found himself daydreaming about the two of them and the baby being a family. The family he had always longed for but knew he would never get because of his illness. Its one thing to be friends with someone with Lycanthropy, it's another to marry them, to love them in any other way then platonic. To think that Hermione would like him as anything other then just a good friend was completely ludiciris and he couldn't allow him to think anything more. Hermione was way out of his league he had realized that a long time ago.

He heard the fire rage behind him and turned around to see Hermione stumbling through the fireplace. He hurried over to her, making sure that she didn't fall.

"Thank you Remus." She said looking up at him. His arms were wrapped around her and she was close to his chest, it took everything in her power not to appear nervous. And it worked, all Remus saw in her eyes was genuine gratitude and friendship, nothing more.

"How was your day with Harry?" he asked helping her over to the couch.

"It was fun, kind of tiring." She said. "Harry's…I don't know. He's been acting odd the last few times I've seen him. Its strange, like Harry and Ron have switched places. Ron seemed to have become the semi-rational one and Harry had taken his place of repeatedly putting his foot in his mouth. It was humorous in a way, but at the same time it was completely unnerving. Things were changing enough as it was, she didn't need that changing as well.

"He's probably just adjusting." Remus said, "Harry's never really dealt well with change and well…this is a big change."

"Tell me about it." She said quietly.

"Are you alright?" He asked.

"Yeah, I'm…I'm fine." Hermione said, "I just, I just wanted to talk to you about something."

"Okay, what do you want to talk about."

"Well umm…" It was now or never. "You see there's been something that I've been purposely avoiding telling you, telling everyone really…I just, I don't know how to say it."

"Well I like to consider myself an open-minded person." He said with a reassuring smile, "So have at me."

"Well…" She was interupted by a loud knock on the door.

"I'll get it." Remus said, "It's probably just Sirius."

"Sirius doesn't knock." Hermione said, "He apparates in and surprises you at sometimes the worst moments. Like when you're in the bath for instance."

"Good point." Remus said, "Then I should probably go get the door."

"But I was going to…"

"I'll be back in a minute." He said. He hurried over to the door, thinking about it it was probably Ron. He didn't like to Floo since he had started apparating and he wasn't comfortable apparating straight into the house. Hermione had told him that it was because he was once their professor. She and Harry had obviously gotten over it but it was still a bit odd for him.

He opened the door expecting to see Ron but instead he got a different Weasley, one with a black eye.

"Hello Remus." Bill said with a smile, "I hope you don't mind me stopping by. I just want to talk to Hermione, is she here?" Remus felt a rise of jealously in the pit of his stomach. He was pretty sure he knew why Bill was here.

"Yeah, we were just setting down in the other room." He told him.

"I hope I'm not interrupting anything." He said as Remus shut the door behind him.

"Of course not" Remus said almost bitterly, "What would there be to interrupt?"

"Hermione someone's here to see you." Remus said going ahead of Bill.

"Me?" Hermione asked turning around, "Who is — **_Bill?_**"

"Hi." He said awkwardly.

"Bill stopped by to talk to you." Remus said placing a comforting hand on Hermione's shoulder. He could tell she was upset. Her body was tense, she was pale and she looked like she needed to set down. "I'm going to go into the kitchen and make myself a cup of tea while you talk. If you need me, just call."

"Thank you." She said quietly. She was pretty sure he knew why Bill was here.

"You have a black eye." She said as he sat down across from her on the couch.

"Yeah, my brother gave it to me."

"Your brother?" she asked surprised.

"George."

"Oh God, Bill I never told him to do that." She said as she realized what happened. "I didn't even tell him what happened; he…he figured it out on his own. I never would have told him…I wasn't even going to tell you. He was never supposed to do this!"

"_He_ was never supposed to do this?!" Bill exclaimed, "Hermione, this was never supposed to happen! Any of it. It was supposed to be a one time thing that we would never talk about again. I would go back to my life and you would go back to yours."

"Do you think I don't know that?" she asked her voice rising, "Do you really think that I wouldn't rather be having the child of a man who wasn't married? Who would have been there for me these last eight months? I would love to take back what we did, but I can't and neither can you."

"What am I going to tell Fleur? What am I going to tell my family?" he asked. "They're never going to look at me the same. George already hates me and so will everyone else."

"You made a mistake Bill, we both did." She said trying her best to comfort him. She knew what it was like to be forced to deal with this out of nowhere. Remus had been there for her, the least she could do was calm him down now. "This isn't going to be easy, in fact it's going to be quite difficult but we have to just accept it and move on. We really don't have a choice."

"You know I knew….a part of me did anyways." He said running a hand through his hair. "When you were there at Christmas I knew that it was me, that I was my kid in there, I knew it but I just didn't want to believe it. I let myself believe that it was Remus'."

"Remus?" she asked.

"I saw the way you two acted together, it's obvious that there's a deep connection there. I guess I just wanted it to be more then there was." He said.

"I know what you mean." She said quietly. There were plenty of times when she found herself clinging to the idea that it was Remus who was the father. That they were a family, that this was somehow normal. She knew all about denial, she couldn't blame him for his.

"We're going to have a baby?" he asked looking up at her.

"I'm going to have a baby." She said with a watery smile, "It's still up to you if you are."

"We're going to have a baby." He told her with a smile of his own.

------------------------

_We're going to have a baby. _The words seemed to be echoing all around him from where Remus stood in the kitchen. He had spent so much time preparing for this baby; he had been so excited to care for this little baby and Hermione that he had never stopped to realize that this wasn't _his_ baby.

Bill was the father, not him. He had known it as well, or at least a part of him had. He had seen the way he had looked at her at the Christmas party. He hadn't been able to take his eyes off of her or her stomach. And she was always nervous when she brought up the subject of the Weasley's. He should have really seen this coming but he was so wrapped up in the idea that the two of them could become a family that he never stopped to think that she could have one of her own. He never stopped to realize that he wasn't the father; he was nothing more then a friend of the mother. He was Hermione's friend, not her husband. He was her roommate not her family. But he had fallen in love with her when it was already too late to do anything about it.

-------------------------

"I have something's I still have to work out." He said as Hermione lead him towards the door. "And until I can do that…"

"I understand Bill." She said, "You have your own family to deal with right now and I totally get that. Take as much time as you need and…and come find me when you do."

"I'm sorry Hermione."

"For what?" she asked.

"For this…I'm the reason your world is crashing around you."

"My world is more secure then it's ever been." She told him. "I've had my rough patches but I'm happy. Happier then I've been in a very long time. And this baby is the reason for that. It brought me Remus. It brought me a family that I never thought I would have. It brought me a reason, a _real_ reason, to keep living every day to its fullest."

"You keep calling the baby an it." He said.

"I'll call it by its name when it comes out." She said.

"And its name would be?"

"Wesley if it's a boy" she said with a sheepish smile, "And Lily if it's a girl."

"Wesley." He said, "It's going to be a boy, trust me a father knows."

Hermione smiled at him indulgently. She wasn't sure that she agreed with him, she was almost positive that it was going to be a girl but he was the father. And he was a Weasley, they did usually have boys. Mr. Weasley used to tease that the only reason Ginny was a girl was because she was too stubborn to be like everyone else and decided to be a girl. But she and Remus both had been so positive that it was going to be a girl.

"Goodnight Bill." She said. He gave her a quick sad smile as she closed the door behind him. She took a deep breath before turning around where she knew Remus would be.

"Hi." She said softly.

"Hello there." he said with a smile.

"How much did you hear?" She asked.

"Most of it," Remus said, "We have thin walls."

"I was going to tell you. Right before he came actually…He has wonderful timing, doesn't he."

"I think we established that already." He told her.

"Remus? What's going to happen now?" she asked fighting back tears.

"I don't understand, Hermione…"

"He knows now. Eventually everyone's going to know. About what I did. About what I knew I was doing…I'm always going to be the woman who broke up their marriage. Everyone's going to hate me…."

"Hermione no one could ever hate you." He said.

"Tell that to Fleur." She said breaking into sobs. Remus held her as she cried into his chest, whispering soothing words into her ears. But he knew she was right. Everything was going to be different now, for everyone.

* * *

**_A/N: Hello everyone! I'm really really really sorry that this took so long to get out. I kept meaning to work on the chapter but I never had time and when I finally did I had horrible writer's block. So, its out a little (a lot) later then I had planned. Thank you to everyone who reviewed, I absolutely love you guys for that. My fic actually just got nominated for an award and I couldn't be happier. Seriously I was giddy, that doesn't happen often. _**

**_From this chapter on the outline I have set is a lot looser and less detailed so ideas are especially welcomed. So far you guys have given me some great ideas that I've been able to work into the plot already or the plot to come, so I'd love to hear from you some more, you guys come up with great stuff. _**

**_I'm really sorry about all of the grammar and spelling mistakes. I don't have a beta or anyone else proofreading my stuff, it's just me and well…that has never been my thing. So, sorry about that, I'll try to do better. When I'm completely done I'll go back and correct things and repost them, but I really don't have the time right now. _**

**_Also, I updated my profile and it has links to two trailers for fics that I created. I'd love to get your guys opinions on them and to see if you be interested in reading them. So please, please look at them and leave me a comment. _**

**_Please review! I love them and they make me updated faster normally (or at least they make me feel a lot guiltier about not updating.) _**


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